How To Date Your Way to a Job

How To Date Your Way to a Job

Find your perfect job/perfect love with these job and spouse hunting tips.

This is a guest post by Yehoshua Paul. If you’d also like to guest post here on JobMob, follow these guest post guidelines.

Have you ever wondered why it is so difficult to find the perfect job?

Or ever wondered why it is so difficult to find the perfect spouse?

After I recently got engaged (to the perfect woman), I started thinking about the two subjects, and realized that both dating and job hunting actually have a lot in common.

Think about it: you often use the same tools for finding a job and finding a date, and both first dates and job interviews are basically all about your marketing skills – with one you are marketing your professional side, and with the other your personal side.

So I decided to compare these two processes, and share my findings.

Your Expectations

Job Hunting: When you are looking for a job, you need to define in advance what it is you are looking for.

Are you looking for part time work or full time? Which geographic areas are you willing to work in? What are your salary expectations? Are you looking for short-term project, or long term employment?

I once answered an ad for work in China, only to later discover that I would be paid as if I were living in China, i.e. peanuts.

Before you can start hunting for a job, take the time and think about the job you are looking for.

Dating: What is it you are looking for in a woman? Is physical appearance important? How about age? Are you looking for intelligence, sense of humor, shared interests? If a woman talks a lot, does she put you to sleep or does that engage you? Are you looking to go on a date, or are you looking for your soul mate?

Before asking someone out, or accepting a date offer, think long and hard about what you are looking for, it may save you a lot of awkward moments later on.

Both with job hunting and dating, you need to define your expectations. But more importantly, you need to prioritize them, and show some flexibility. Some expectations are realistic, others are not. Being only willing to date men who are six feet tall, dark, handsome, rich, smart with a great sense of humor may work in fairy tales, but in reality, you may want to consider the guy who is 5'10.

Similarly, if someone is offering you work near home, at a lower salary, compared to another job farther away that pays more, you need to decide what is more important.

If you are unwilling to compromise, don’t be surprised if you end up waiting a long time between jobs and dates.

Their Expectations

Job Hunting: When going over the ad, pay attention to the job requirements.

If the company is looking for an editor with twenty years’ experience editing scientific journals, and you’ve just finished your B.A. in English, it’s probably a safe bet to say that you are not what they are looking for.

Why waste your time, pursuing jobs that you are clearly not qualified for, when you can concentrate your time looking for work within your areas of expertise?

One of the more humiliating interviews I was at involved the interviewer going over my resume line by line and then explaining to me why I was not qualified for the job.

Don’t waste people’s time by sending out your resume blindly. Concentrate on finding work that is more up your alley.

Dating: When you go on a date, you are focused more on your expectations, but don’t forget that the other person is also looking for something.

Often you don’t know what those are until you meet, but sometimes there are tools that can help you in advance. Consider dating sites, and social networks. In a dating site, you can find out a ton of personal information about a person, which not only helps you determine whether or not your expectations are met, but also whether you meet their expectations as well, such as age, physical appearance, personality and outlook on life.

The Search

Both with job hunting and dating you can employ social networks, friends, job hunting/dating sites, matchmakers/employment agencies and the direct approach. With dating, the direct approach of asking a woman out on a date has a considerably higher success rate than going to a company and asking them directly for a job. However, all the others seem to offer equal odds of success.

Use LinkedIn for job hunting and Facebook for dating, although the reverse may work. Building a personal website may help you find work, but it is unlikely to lead you to the types of dates you want.

First Date/Interview

The first date/interview is all about marketing skills.

With job hunting this is obvious, with dating it is more subtle. In both instances you need to show up on time, in nice clothes, and be at your best behavior. There may be tests involved, either a written exam, or opening the door for the lady. Be prepared to market your professional experience on the interview and your personality on a date (hint: do not talk about your pets on a job interview.) In both you need to be confident and relaxed. Come prepared with relevant questions/conversation starters.

The more you enjoy each other’s company, the higher the odds of there being a second date/interview, which may lead to future love/job offer.

There are some obvious differences

While there are many similarities between job hunting and dating, there are still some big obvious differences.

The ultimate goal of dating is to find that one person who you will fall in love with so that you can build a family, and end up spending the rest of your lives together (if that’s your goal in life). The relationship you are seeking is going to be permanent. However, you will end up switching jobs many times throughout your career, and the relationships you forge are mostly professional and temporary. While there may be many similarities between job hunting and dating, ultimately you don’t want to spend your nights in bed with your job.

Another big difference is that job hunting for the most part is one-sided. You are trying to convince the interviewer to hire you to work. With dating the process is a little more even-handed as both sides are trying to impress each other. And while both in dating and in job hunting it is important that both sides end up happy with each other. Ultimately, with job hunting the decision lies with the potential employer, and with dating the decision to continue is decided by both persons.

I found this comparison to be very helpful when it comes to reflecting on how skills used in one area of life carry over to the other. Hopefully, other people who read this article will be able to benefit from it to find both their perfect job/perfect love.

About the Author

Between the summers of 2009-2010, Yehoshua Paul worked in 5 different high-tech companies as a technical writer and translator, both freelance and employed, part time and full time – with the occasional project on the side. Between the summers of 2010-2011 Yehoshua Paul has worked freelance full time for one company – with no projects on the side, and is extremely happy. He is now currently engaged to Tammy Alexandra Levitt who is working as an Administrative Assistant in the English as a Foreign Language Department in Bar Ilan University, and finishing up her B.A. in linguistics.

This article is part of the Over $5000 in Prizes: The 5th Annual JobMob Guest Blogging Contest, which was made possible thanks in large part to our sponsors:

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About the Author Jacob Share

Job Search Expert, Professional Blogger, Creative Thinker, Community Builder with a sense of humor. I like to help people.

Leave a Comment:

15 comments
Jacob Share
Ruth Simons says

Absolutely on the mark!

Incredible paralell connecting between the two subjects.

Insightful and frankly good advise for those to rethink when looking for employment and/or a soul mate.

Fantastic.

Ruth

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Jacob Share
Joshua Eliason says

Liked it!

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Jacob Share
Leah says

I love the idea to use skills acquired in area of life and apply it in another. Opens a whole set of of ideas, like “Pushing ahead a hopeless project at work using skills acquired in trying to pushing weights in the gym when you really don’t feel up to it”.
Can’t wait for your insights on child raising, but I guess I’ll have to wait for the wedding first 🙂 Mazal Tov!

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Jacob Share
Sim says

The differences that you point out show a lack of understanding of the job market.
1) Your goal in finding a job should be finding something that will be able to provide you with your career goals for the rest of your life. In other words, the ability to grow with your job and to have your job change with you. If you find the company that you want to spend the rest of your life with, but you have outgrown the job, it is time to sit down with management and tell them what it is that you want to do and try to come up with a proposal as to how you can do it with them. If you have an idea for a start-up and they believe in you, there is a possibility that they will partner with you in that start-up.

2) When a company is hiring, they need to convince the best candidates to come to them. It is always a 2 sided street. If you are a quality candidate, the odds are that you have more then one option. The company must sell itself, especially in terms of what the future has to offer the candidate, just as much as the candidate has to sell himself to the company.

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Jacob Share
Yehoshua Paul says

Thanks everyone for the comments.
@Sim Sadly, I disagree. In an ideal world you would be able to find a job that can satisfy you for the rest of your life. However, in the modern world most people are required to change jobs every couple of years due to a variety of reasons: recession that leads to outsourcing with lots of layoffs, slow advancement path, boredom, change in management which leads to change in staff. Most people today grow up with the knowledge that they will change jobs several times throughout their career.
Regarding your second point, I strongly disagree simply because the vast majority of people do not have a surplus of job offers.

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Jacob Share
Naomi G says

Good post, although in my experience, a good candidate does make companies work to impress them back, and a good part of being a good candidate is believing you are a good candidate!

I’d also like to point out that it would be a lot easier to share the great posts on this blog if there was a linkedin, +1 and twitter share button at the top and bottom of each post.

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Jacob Share
Jacob Share says

Naomi- for now at least, the share buttons should appear in a red-outlined box that slides vertically down the left-hand side of each article.

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Sheila Levitt says

Interesting to know what you are looking for.

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Jacob Share
Sim says

@Yehoshua
A lot of people feel the same way about wives.
It also depends on what field you are in. Obviously there are some fields with more potential then others.

Most people are not required to change jobs every couple of years, they choose to because either:
* they are not creative enough to figure out how to get to the next level without changing jobs
* they did not create enough value to the organization or prove themselves to be the guy who shouldn’t be let go at any cost
* the job they chose in the first place was only appropriate for them in the short term and they didn’t consider the long-term when accepting or interviewing for a position.

In a job interview, the employer generally asks a question such as “where do you see yourself in 5 years.” The same question should be asked by the potential employee, “If I do this position well, what is the potential for me in 5 years.”

Finally, I have to say that I have turned down a lot more jobs then I have ever accepted, and I have turned down plenty of interviews at companies that I had no desire to work for. If you hold out until you find what you want, you have a better chance at being happy.

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Jacob Share
Use Your Job Strengths For A Faster Job Search | JobMob says

[…] Job search is very similar to dating. […]

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Jacob Share
5 Ways To Have Fun With Your Resume | JobMob says

[…] About the Author Between the summers of 2009-2010, Yehoshua Paul worked in 5 different high-tech companies as a technical writer and translator, both freelance and employed, part time and full time – with the occasional project on the side. Since then he has become a lead technical writer at Logic, one of Israel’s larger security companies. When he is not busy thinking of creative ways to redesign his resume, he enjoys engaging in professional discussions on the Techshoret and TechWhirl e-mail lists, learning new skills on Lynda.com, and guest blogging to his heart’s content. He is now happily married to Tammy Paul, a recruitment consultant working at Marksman International Personnel. This is Yehoshua’s third year to participate in the JobMob annual guest blogging contest, hopefully this time for the win. His previous entries include: 18 Tips that Helped Me Find Work this Year and How to Date You Way to a Job […]

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Jacob Share
Kate says

Are there matchmakers & recruiters sharing offices and desks in Israel? If so, I would like to open a Canadian franchise.

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Jacob Share
Kate says

People who like this post will like my book “Love from Planet Wine Cooler” which is all about love and work too. http://www.katebaggott.com/howtobuylove.html

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Jacob Share
How To Market Yourself For The Job Search or Dating Scenes | JobMob says

[…] If you liked this article, you’ll also enjoy How To Date Your Way to a Job. […]

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sam says

Excellent article Sir! Thanks so much.

I have even observed that in some cultures and religions one can have have multiple spouses and similarly some people have more than one job simultaneously.

Also, is the internship stage is seen as a short-term fling many times lol?

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