Find your perfect job/perfect love with these job and spouse hunting tips.
This is a guest post by Yehoshua Paul. If you’d also like to guest post here on JobMob, follow these guest post guidelines.
Have you ever wondered why it is so difficult to find the perfect job?
Or ever wondered why it is so difficult to find the perfect spouse?
After I recently got engaged (to the perfect woman), I started thinking about the two subjects, and realized that both dating and job hunting actually have a lot in common.
Think about it: you often use the same tools for finding a job and finding a date, and both first dates and job interviews are basically all about your marketing skills – with one you are marketing your professional side, and with the other your personal side.
So I decided to compare these two processes, and share my findings.
Job Hunting: When you are looking for a job, you need to define in advance what it is you are looking for.
Are you looking for part time work or full time? Which geographic areas are you willing to work in? What are your salary expectations? Are you looking for short-term project, or long term employment?
I once answered an ad for work in China, only to later discover that I would be paid as if I were living in China, i.e. peanuts.
Before you can start hunting for a job, take the time and think about the job you are looking for.
Dating: What is it you are looking for in a woman? Is physical appearance important? How about age? Are you looking for intelligence, sense of humor, shared interests? If a woman talks a lot, does she put you to sleep or does that engage you? Are you looking to go on a date, or are you looking for your soul mate?
Before asking someone out, or accepting a date offer, think long and hard about what you are looking for, it may save you a lot of awkward moments later on.
Both with job hunting and dating, you need to define your expectations. But more importantly, you need to prioritize them, and show some flexibility. Some expectations are realistic, others are not. Being only willing to date men who are six feet tall, dark, handsome, rich, smart with a great sense of humor may work in fairy tales, but in reality, you may want to consider the guy who is 5'10.
Similarly, if someone is offering you work near home, at a lower salary, compared to another job farther away that pays more, you need to decide what is more important.
If you are unwilling to compromise, don’t be surprised if you end up waiting a long time between jobs and dates.
Job Hunting: When going over the ad, pay attention to the job requirements.
If the company is looking for an editor with twenty years’ experience editing scientific journals, and you’ve just finished your B.A. in English, it’s probably a safe bet to say that you are not what they are looking for.
Why waste your time, pursuing jobs that you are clearly not qualified for, when you can concentrate your time looking for work within your areas of expertise?
One of the more humiliating interviews I was at involved the interviewer going over my resume line by line and then explaining to me why I was not qualified for the job.
Don’t waste people’s time by sending out your resume blindly. Concentrate on finding work that is more up your alley.
Dating: When you go on a date, you are focused more on your expectations, but don’t forget that the other person is also looking for something.
Often you don’t know what those are until you meet, but sometimes there are tools that can help you in advance. Consider dating sites, and social networks. In a dating site, you can find out a ton of personal information about a person, which not only helps you determine whether or not your expectations are met, but also whether you meet their expectations as well, such as age, physical appearance, personality and outlook on life.
Both with job hunting and dating you can employ social networks, friends, job hunting/dating sites, matchmakers/employment agencies and the direct approach. With dating, the direct approach of asking a woman out on a date has a considerably higher success rate than going to a company and asking them directly for a job. However, all the others seem to offer equal odds of success.
The first date/interview is all about marketing skills.
With job hunting this is obvious, with dating it is more subtle. In both instances you need to show up on time, in nice clothes, and be at your best behavior. There may be tests involved, either a written exam, or opening the door for the lady. Be prepared to market your professional experience on the interview and your personality on a date (hint: do not talk about your pets on a job interview.) In both you need to be confident and relaxed. Come prepared with relevant questions/conversation starters.
The more you enjoy each other’s company, the higher the odds of there being a second date/interview, which may lead to future love/job offer.
There are some obvious differences
While there are many similarities between job hunting and dating, there are still some big obvious differences.
The ultimate goal of dating is to find that one person who you will fall in love with so that you can build a family, and end up spending the rest of your lives together (if that’s your goal in life). The relationship you are seeking is going to be permanent. However, you will end up switching jobs many times throughout your career, and the relationships you forge are mostly professional and temporary. While there may be many similarities between job hunting and dating, ultimately you don’t want to spend your nights in bed with your job.
Another big difference is that job hunting for the most part is one-sided. You are trying to convince the interviewer to hire you to work. With dating the process is a little more even-handed as both sides are trying to impress each other. And while both in dating and in job hunting it is important that both sides end up happy with each other. Ultimately, with job hunting the decision lies with the potential employer, and with dating the decision to continue is decided by both persons.
I found this comparison to be very helpful when it comes to reflecting on how skills used in one area of life carry over to the other. Hopefully, other people who read this article will be able to benefit from it to find both their perfect job/perfect love.
About the Author
Between the summers of 2009-2010, Yehoshua Paul worked in 5 different high-tech companies as a technical writer and translator, both freelance and employed, part time and full time – with the occasional project on the side. Between the summers of 2010-2011 Yehoshua Paul has worked freelance full time for one company – with no projects on the side, and is extremely happy. He is now currently engaged to Tammy Alexandra Levitt who is working as an Administrative Assistant in the English as a Foreign Language Department in Bar Ilan University, and finishing up her B.A. in linguistics.
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