For the fifth entry in the JobMob Guest Blogging Contest, Sue Tourkin-Komet sets out to prove her correlation between being unemployed and being divorced.
The Theory
Eureka!
It hit me!
Or rather, I'd say, the idea hit me, splashed me, and shlooshed me, in my local pool. In fact, the idea was so obvious and so invigorating, that I managed to do 12 Olympic laps in ten minutes, upping my mileage, as well as upping my aerobic heart rate.
What had I realized?
Thatâthere is a direct correlation between the essence of becoming divorced and the essence of becoming unemployed. As these two items, divorce and unemployment, are in our daily headlines and statistically have boomed, year by year, then there must be a scientific correlation.
This is not to imply that all divorced people will become unemployed or that all unemployed persons will become divorced but there is a correlation nonetheless.
This theory will be further explored.
But, before I shall do that, let's be proper sociologists and state the limits of the theory.
Disclaimer
- There are unemployed persons who will never marry, and henceforth will never become divorced.
- Secondly, there are fully-employed and over-employed persons who will never become divorced (from a human being) because as workaholics they are married to their jobs/careers, and they'll never get divorced from these jobs/careers. However, their spouses might divorce them due to their severe domestic absenteeism.
- Next, there are those who are unemployed and may never be employed (outside of the home), because they are âHappy Homemakersâ and will not figure into real unemployment statistics.
- Last, but not least, there is the grand majority of citizens who are both fully-employed as well as fully-married, Unto Death Do Us Part, and they indeed form the backbone of our capitalistic, socialistic, monogamist society.
Now, let's return to correlating the correlations between divorce and unemployment. (I should know, because I have divorced, once; and I have been unemployed, once.)
This revolutionary research:
(a) Is subjective, by any standards;
(b) Is objective, by all standards;
(c) Has not been funded by our/your government;
(d) Has been statistically tested;
(e) Is all of the above;
(f) Is some of the above;
(g) Is none of the above.
Premise #1: Reactions
When one first becomes divorced or unemployed, one will get such diverse responses from friends/relatives/and of course, strangers:
(a) Mazal Tov!
(b) Oh, my dear, I was so sorry to hearâŠ
(c) Soooo, was your husbandâŠunfaithful?
(d) Soooo, did your boss actually fire you, or did you actually quit?
(e) Etc.
Premise #2: Questions
Your really close friends/relatives/strangers will reveal their in-depth understanding on the status of divorce or the state of unemployment by asking such diversely sophisticated questions:
(a) Did you get your âGetâ (Jewish writ of divorce)?
(b) Did you get to keep your apartment?
(c) Did you get to keep your children?
(d) Did you get any written recommendations? (Ha-Ha. From the ex-husband or from the ex-boss?)
(e) Did you keep your sanity? (Ha-Ha. From the ex-marriage or the ex-boss?)
(f) Etc.
Premise #3: Comments
When one begins to adapt to one's new sociological status as divorced/unemployed, one will also get such diverse comments from friends/relatives/and, again, strangers:
(a) Well, how's the man-hunting going?
(b) Well, how's the job-hunting going?
(c) Well, are you getting any alimony payments from your ex-husband? Combien? How much?
(d) Well, are you getting any unemployment payments from Bituach Leumi (National Social Security Institute Of Israel)? Combien? How much?
(e) Etc.
Premise #4: Worries
This appears when the newfound status (of divorce/unemployment) seems semi-chronic. Again, your social commentators will be your very own best friends/relatives/strangers.
(a) Gee, why isn't a Lovely Lady like you⊠re-married yet?
(b) Gee, why hasn't such a Smart Woman like you⊠been able to land a job yet?
(c) Gee, do you think you'll ever find a Nice Jewish Boy for yourself?
(d) Gee, do you think you'll ever land a nice job for yourself?
(e) Etc.
Now that I have published my premises, the time has come for readers to send in their compliments and complaints, critiques and criticisms, comments and corrections, and of course their cudosâŠerâŠkudos. Until the responses pour in, I shall deeply dive into my local public pool (along with my pool membership card, my Bill of Divorcement and my Unemployment Booklet from the Labor Exchange) and get splashed and shlooshed with some other new sociological suggestions.
Postscripts
Since this research began, I am happy to report that I am properly re-employed in my real profession: social work research.
As for the other issue, re-marriageâ that hasn't quite happened yet. Give me time and patience⊠and a new, but modest bathing suitâŠ
About the Author
Sue [nee] Tourkin { later, Komet }, from Washington, D.C., became an Anglo-Israeli since her aliya to Jerusalem in 1968. She's a graduate of Case Western Reserve University of Cleveland and the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. In 2005 she was awarded a Writer's Grant from Beit HaNassi (the Office of the President of Israel) for the publication of her first book-to-be.
Sue can be reached at yaffasue [at] netvision.net.il.
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I really enjoyed reading your âtheory.â The premise is interesting, written with wit, and real understanding of the topic. Keep writing. I love your style.
Sue, absolutely correct in theory and partially in substance and it shows how little women have grown in mental re-wiring within our so-called âegalitarianâ society. A woman is not complete unless she is wedded or in a serious relationship. If she does not have a child or two, she cannot possibly understand the world at large and if she has a job, it had better be paying a man-like salary (which it usually doesnât although she has to perform like a man or better). A womanâs wiring is still in the abyss of shame if divorced, sighs painfully at lost nurture-mother she may have, or not craved. She usually puts up a more than a brave facade that she is glad â no, more than happy that the son-of-a-bitch is out of her life and is no longer damaging the childrenâs psyche. (There is a great deal of merit in that thought.) A male mental wiring, at least on the surface, is a not much different. He is relieved that the âball and chainâ is out of his life but can hardly wait to re-establish his masculinity with a desperate womanâs who could not possibly be complete less fulfilled by his âservices.â He fear-flee instincts are honed razor sharp as soon as the new mate dares to cross the line of commitment. Cries bitter tears if he is unable to see his children at will but when he DOES see them, hardly knows how to spend productive time with them. Assuming his professional life is degreed and pedigreed he will purchase a sports car, topless, of course preferably in fire engine red, or sunshine yellow. Bearly comfortable for the driver not comfortable for two and impractical to hold groceries or children. He zooms with excessive speeds around town and highway. His hair is in the latest razor cut and perhaps even dyed a bit to conceal gray spots. He is a man on a mission, no, on the prowl to satisfy his masculinity, virility and damaged and scarred ego.
Witty, humorous and entertaining. Also cleverly outlined.
Website correction
Ms Komet really understands her subject from first-hand experiense. She has keen insight on the subject and presents it simply and with humor.
I enjoyed the humor, style of writing, and
intelligent observations. Iâm glad Sue Tourkin-Kometâs words were here for us to read.
Very interesting. Both involve loss/rejection/regret but both open the possibility of new beginnings. However, in all fairness, there is ONE correlation not mentioned. There is a direct correlation between the odds of getting remarried and getting a job, i.e., the older one is the harder to accomplish either. I ought to know;I am a recently unempoyed social worker (but happily married).
Sue?!
Nice to hear from you; I donât use the email address you wrote to anymore, at least not for friends and family (-still friends?!). Nice writing & humor.
How about, married-many-years-but-only employed-part-time-since-2005, and currently not employed but looking (sporadically) for work?
Donât know if it âgoes togetherâ, but, hey, Iâm in an empty-nesting transitional stage, so why not be unemployed at the same time (just lay it on me, will âya)?!
Write me at my new email address, and keep on writing!
Enjoyed reading your article. Currently both divorced and unemployed.For a long time have thought there was a correlation. Now I see itâs so.Everything you described is so true-, so unfair and so unutterably unfathomable!
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This post broke my heart. Again. Every word was true.
Itâs heart-breaking to think how much harder families will have it now that unemployment is so much more common.