Depressed over your job search? There are many ways to get help.
This article is a guest post by Isabella Mori of Change Therapy.
Among career practitioners, we often speak of the ârollercoaster of job search.â It looks like this:
Need I say more?
Free bonus: Download The Job Search Depression Report which contains insights and resources on how to manage if you're too depressed to look for work.
Weâve all been there, haven't we?
If this is your story right now, why not just go back to watching Oprah in your pyjamas, accompanied with a big bowl of potato chips and maybe pick up the phone tomorrow to call up that lead that Joe gave you yesterday. Nah, tomorrow is not a good day. Maybe next week some time.
Sound familiar? If this happens to you, itâs possible youâre just procrastinating a bit, youâre resting for a few well-deserved days, or youâre just having an off-day.
Or â youâre depressed.
Thereâs those off days, and the job search blues â but if the pattern of lack of motivation, feeling utterly blah, unexplainable crying even, or other uncomfortable moods persist for more than two weeks, if the down parts of that rollercoaster last too long and happen too often, chances are you are in a depression.
The previous articles in this series have talked about causes and signs for depression. Let me talk a bit about what to do.
The good thing about depression â yes, there are a few good things about depression â is that often, thereâs much that can be done, and I certainly canât list all of them here.
Today, Iâd like to lean on the words of a fellow blogger, Emma McCreary, who commented on an article of mine, Two Views Of Depression, a little while ago and see how we can use her ideas to help with job search depression.
9 actions to take today if you have job search depression
- Identify cognitive distortions such as focusing on the negative (âYes, I have a degree in accounting but last year I made I mistake on a spreadsheet!â) and deal with them.
- If youâve been on anti-depressants before and they have helped, maybe itâs time to use them again â talk to your doctor!
- Donât just âsuffer itâ; please realize that you have a right to feel serene and content, and nobody benefits from your feeling down.
- Share your experience with others, with your friends and family (tell them how they can help), with a local support group, or online.
- Visit a counselor; sometimes just one or two visits can make quite a difference.
- Practice meditation and relaxation.
- Educate yourself; read a book such as Listening to Depression.
- Recognize that depression is often a coping mechanism. Donât reject your depression; accept your parts that look âbroken.â
- Practice non-violent communication and learn to talk gently and compassionately to yourself.
About the author
Isabella Mori is Canada's blogging psychotherapist. She blogs about psychology, creativity, spirituality and social justice over at Change Therapy and can be reached at moritherapy [at] shaw [dot] ca.
Free BonusDownload The Job Search Depression Report if you're getting depressed because you can't find a job. It contains:
- 15 Causes of Job Search Depression and How To Prevent It
- 13 Signs of Job Search Depression
- Unsure About The Signs? Take The Test
- 9 Ways To Deal With Job Search Depression
Click the image below to get access to The Job Search Depression Report:
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Itâs gonna take more that this type of pop psychology to help the thousands that are in for a rough ride.
Thanks for your comment, Alan.
What suggestions do you have?
My G-d, have we not sufficient reproofs that have overtaken us? Have we not seen how bedrock productivity has been robbed from the tradespeople and artisans and pushed up the ladder to the top 2% of professional executives and VC undertakers. ?
Ask for antidepressants? Where do you get this? Your crime is so egregious that you do not what that you commit it! Meditation? Good, for sure; but as a answer to a fundamentally ailing workforce?
Where does one begin to straighten out this kind of superficial journalism that aims to merely take up space â a phenomenon that has blossomed since the advent of blogging.
hi alan, thanks for continuing the conversation.
iâm guessing that you see work related depression in a sociopolitical context.
i donât know what jacobâs plans are but i think that would definitely be another interesting blog post. interestingly enough, i just left a comment on another blog where i reminded the writer of the adage, âthe personal is political and the political is personal.â
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I have a M.Ed. in Pyy. I am suppose to be helping people. I cannot find a job, I am in debt with school loans and I feel that my life is worthless. I thought I was strong, but sometimes I want to just give up.
How are you supposed to get antidepressants and counseling if you donât have a job to get health insurance? I need antidepressants but I have no way of getting them because I donât have insurance since I donât have a job. Its a viscious cycle!
Where do you find the meds when you are out of work and have no money?
The graph is not realistic at all. You have to add in a lot more âno response,â âdidnât get the job,â and ârewrite resumeâ sections. Also add in a timeline at the bottom. Is that supposed to be days, weeks, or months?
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This isnât worthy enough to be called advice. Rather than reassuring luckless jobseekers like myself, you are patronizing them and telling them that the only real solution is to either read useless self-help books or bung up their systems with anti-depressants. Your stigmatization of us is simply perpetuating a self-fulfilling prophecy of being weak and inadequate. Thanks a lot âDoctorâ-if you ever find yourself out of a job,test exactly how useful your own advice is.
Oh, I see. If I just meditate and read a few self help books, all of the problems of not having any money because I canât find a job will just go away. I had no idea that meditation would get me a job. Bravo!
I havenât worked for 5yrs. I donât have the money to buy gifts or cards.
I look back on my life as a loser.
My children hate me and they donât talk to me too much I guess they have problems too.
I donât have a phone canât afford one.
I used to make good money but my family says I never did so I donât talk to them or break bread with them.This is how I cope writing and reading
no talking to any of my old friends and if I bump into them I walk as fast away as I can.
Hi Karl
I do understand you. I live a similar situation.
I used to be some one who had money, power, a lot of friends and made so many people happy. I had a burnout and I resigned without thinking of the consequences, I thought I will find another job, one month became 5 then Year and no job despite my high profile. My phone stopped to ring the first month, no one is asking me how am I doing they just avoid me, I lost all my money ( retirement plan) my dignity, my respect, I though I was strong I went through difficult times but I had always my job to help me to forget and move on, today Iâm useless, alone, I try to find strength in side of me but itâs empty. I have decided to end my life many times but even with that I was not successful, Each morning I wake up put my clothes and start to send emails, cvs, calls, no response, the evening again depression alone face to my failure and wondering where did I miss up ? why me ? a lot of questions no book or pills can answer to it
Hi Karl. You sound like such a intelligent experienced person and It must be so frustrating. I have only been able to get fixed contract work through a recruiter for many years, a last and only job option I have had, failing to secure permanent and reliable work. However, now it seems to be a total dry spell getting any job, which has pushed me due to desperation onto Centerlink, a terrible and awful job centre in Australia. What makes it worse, is the government raising educational costs so high itâs scandalous that any chance of job up-skilling along with taking any VET loan is one of fear as well as affordability has driven me out of this opportunity, when other expensive as food, rent, rates, travel and health have taken so much priority. Also having learning difficulties doesnât help either and I find myself suffering from anxiety, fear and depression as well. Itâs also a vicious cycle to get help, as it costs money I donât have. Most certainly, pills and books donât help the situation and neither does the government, who have made unemployment worse over the years, with their unstoppable immigration and visas and lack of insight at business closing down all around us and high commercial rents and rates as well. The only thing we people can do is keep out chin and totally throw rubbish at the Politianâs.
You do not need antidepressants. There are spiritual practioners at the Centers for Spiritual Living in every city in this country that are more than willing to support you through counsel â positive, uplifting, affrimative, encouraging, and empowering counsel, without any of the religious stuff. Just good spiritual connection and people holding the best for you.
I am currently unemployed. I have been for 6 months. I have a MBA and BBA in Finance. I just chose the wrong job after graduation⊠listened to the wrong recruiter⊠and failed to take heed to the warning signs of the miserable failure of my former company. I no longer feel confident in my ability (even though others constantly praise me for my education and career accomplishments) to find a job or endure the realities of corporate America. Six months is a long time. I am at my breaking point. I feel like a failure. I donât know what to do except for wait.
Mimi, I hope you read this. Although 6 months is not a long stretch to be out of work in this economy, it is not a good situation. You have very good credentials, and that is saying a ton. Please, dear, hear me as one who was out of work for all of 08, part of 07, and I am self employed, still there were no clients with work.
Mimi, look at the skills you practiced at your last job, and break it worn into actual deliverable chunks that small and medium businesses can use. Place ads on all of the on-line sources and make a simple, ugly blog or website with a services menu. Write a couple of articles from the heart about your skills and how you envision delivering them to your potential clients.
Then, go out to everyone you know, every single friend and colleague, cousin, everyone, skip the on-line job board, screw them they all die, and ask about if they know anyone who needs these services, and, what kind of new and unfulfilled finance and other specialty services the small and med businesses need.
Come up with a flair and a twist, a special promotion or be the type of finance consultant that is open, humorous or some other trait that makes you stand out from the crowd.
DO not be like the typical people on TV interviews, âI have sent out 500 resumes. I cant get a job.â I have compassion for these folks, but you need to make personal connections with the clients or employer that holds the key to your next check. Do not work with HR, do use recruiters, the devilâs seed. Only use a professional headhunter that you can meet and talk with.
You have skills, you have an education, you can break out and deliver these skills directly without a big corp behind you. Do not think of this as âstarting a companyâ, that is too much and stressful. Just put your self out there and do one Google search for me, âHavi Boorksâ. Good luck dear, you can do it.
I was laid off in 09âČ. From there I lost my car and my condoâŠcouldnât afford either anymore. I moved in with my boyfriend and quickly starting noticing my confidence and esteem diminish. At 28 Iâve worked since I was 14 years old and supported myself and I worked hard for everything I had. Then it was just gone. I didnât just lose my financial stability, I lost my selfworth. And that was priceless. In 2010 I thought I was lucky enough to catch a break when I was given the opportunity to work a paid internship. It wasnât my ideal job but it was a chance to jump off of my unemployment for awhile and work. When those 4 months came to an end I tried to refile. I was told that since this was an internship they didnât have to report my earningsâŠbe it paid or not. My unemployment has been done for a month now. Iâve been living literally pennies a day. Ramen noodles and what not.
I am mad constantly..I cry as I write this. I dont even know who this person isâŠI never cried over anything. I never rolled over and accepted things for what they were..
I lash out at everyone and anyone. I was successful and now I apply for anything..minimum wage jobs with uniforms.
Dear Bianca-
You are still the same amazing person with the incredible success story of supporting yourself from age 14!
All your skills and abilities are still there. Youâre just going through a slump, like a baseball star who all of a sudden canât seem to hit the ball anymore. If it happens to the best players â and it does, every single one â it can happen to you.
How do those other stars get out of their funk? By continuing to practice and play through it until that lucky day when they finally can hit again, and then they pick up from where they left off before the slump.
You need to do the same thing⊠with a bit of a twist. Those players have the support of their rich teams during their troubles, and if youâre on Ramen noodles, you also need some temporary extra support that will allow you to concentrate on a serious job search attempt for a position that matches your impressive skills.
Are there any family members or friends that can help you, or even host you for now?
How you tried contacting previous employers to see if they could use your skills once again?
Thank god for alan for putting into words (if a bit harshly) my thoughts as I read that article. Iâm sure whoever wrote this had a genuine desire to help and who knows it may have been the right pick-me-up for some teen out there but reading it noe after spending yet another night searching for jobs instead of sleeping , the last thing i want to hear is pop some anti-dâs , your depression doesnât benefit anyone, hey presto meditate and your depression will be gone! there are no quick fixes honey! its just very amateur. You need to think a few graves deeper into those ideas if your ever to broach this topic again!
and dear god people anti depressants are THE LAST thing a depressed body/mind should be taking. anti depressants are the biggest selling point for pharmaceutical companies like Pfizer and the rest. after a year of s shit doctor jumping to give me them a new doctor doing her internship joined the pracice and recommended COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY without a mention of pills â the same success rate as anti depressants; 2/3rds she claimed. i start on tuesday weâll see how things go! iâm only 20 but if iâve learned one thing about this curse its that depression is not imaginary, itâs something that needs a lot of work and lifestyle changes not well-meaning pseudo science !!
*now *practice..also got lazy with the punctuation sorry đ
Iâve been looking for a job for the past 3 months, doing some temp work but not enough to even make a dent. The past 2 weeks have been especially hard for me, realizing the amount of interviews Iâve been to and that my savings are running out. I have another interview tomorrow with another âtemp agencyâ so hope they can keep me busy for awhile. Itâs gotten to the point where I donât even feel like eating at times, because Iâm so preoccupied. Food costs money and money is what I donât have now. Itâs so hard living in a city and doing anything without spending some type of money. So Iâm housebound for now, keeping my fingers crossed that things will start looking up for me.
Iâm about ready to blow my brains out. srsly. I canât take this much more. I fân HATE it.
I was about to comment that âNo, this A-hole who wrote this does not know what it is like to be continuously job hunting for well over 10 years only to get nothing.â
We are not all in this together I AM ALONE in this and nothing will help because of our stupid way we have decided to reorganize work in general. Namely, everyone is a consultant and is therefore their own marketing person, assistant, programmer, writer, biller, accounts payable person and salesperson.
I repeat, it is a stupid way to live but we are stuck with it and powerless to do a goddamn thing about it. The world is getting stupider, meaner, nastier and more cut throat. Only people who know very advanced computer coding willl ever be able to do more make, sell and buy $#!TTY crafts on etsy made with a 3D printer.
The mind boggles at the stupidity of it all and I am serious when I say I would rather just get on a plane to Switzerland where Euthanasia is apparently legal. EFF THIS!!
same iâm under so much pressure by my parents to get a full time job I spend every waking hour aimlessly handing out my cv and my fingers chained to the key board throwing my heart and soul into getting a job but nothing i give upâŠ
Donât give up! Just change tactics.
If youâre NOT desperate for cash, skip this step: take the nearest available retail/restaurant job you can get, even part-time, so at least youâll have some income and can give yourself a short break from job searching to regain your sanity. When youâre ready (but still working), go on to the next step.
Look for the job you really want and qualify for by searching LinkedIn for nearby people who have that kind of job. Study their career path to get ideas, and contact them to ask what worked for them and for suggestions about where you should apply. Donât ask them if their company is hiring, let them volunteer that information if they choose.
Prayer means never having to leave a voice mail message â He answers every ring.
Dear Lord, I am a lowly sinner, a product of the 60âs, experimented with things I knew were wrong. I had an abortion, did drugs, lied and didnât care. I always worked since 14 and held jobs in office administration. Even went to work high numerous times when younger. Now at 57, Iâm laid off my job of 7 years. Application after application for 15 months, no food stamps and very little unemployment left. I feel empty inside, as if Evil is punishing me for my younger lifestyle. I try to be happy around my kids and then cry when they go to their own homes. I enjoy working and have very good skills. Why, then Lord, canât I get a job? Iâm scared. I remember when I could laugh and not worry. I want those days back. Please forgive me for I know here on Earth we are not perfect. I know my faith is real and that you hear my prayers. I really need you now Lord. I wake up every day and thank God for everything in my life. He is good and knows me best. Hear my prayer Lord. With all my heart and soul, please forgive me.
Melissa- The Lord helps those who help themselves. You need to stay active but not just for the sake of being active. You say you have good skills. If so, why are companies not hiring you? Ask them why they rejected you. That will give you a starting point to take action to right your job search ship.
Adam- itâs tough but you can and *will* pull through. Look at how youâre managing- you clearly have some good survival skills.
Stop scouring the help wanted ads; youâre just setting yourself up for a fall because those ads are being seen by many people, almost all of whom are going to get the same result as you- no job offer and a feeling of rejection.
Instead:
1) Contact any past bosses that liked your work and see if they have any more work for you or can refer you to someone who does.
2) If an entry-level job can tide you over for now, make yourself presentable and go for a walk to the nearest mall or part of town where there are many stores. Donât even look for hiring signs, just go into the stores youâre qualified to help and ask if they have any openings. It could even be part-time.
More tips here:
Long Job Search? 25 Action Tips To End Yours ASAP
Jacob,
Thank you for writing this. Iâm so confused. Iâve only been out of work for a year and a half or so, (or is it two?) but I feel Iâm finally at the end of my rope. I apologise for how long this post will be, but I need to say everything that has happened to my husband and I for the last three years. I need to know Iâm not the failure I feel I am⊠that this misery we both feel now will pass.
My husband is 30, I am 29 this year. We live in the UK, in a small town in the countryside.
Iâm an artist and designer with a degree. In 2008 I was employed as a signwriter in a local village, a job Iâve never trained in or even thought about until I got asked to the interview. I got the job; it was in a small company a few miles away (walkable distance) run by one man in his garden workshop, but he had a van and had lots of business. I cut coloured vinyl into signs by machine, and designed text and signs for cars and shop fascias.
I loved that job; as an artist it was wonderful to work with colour, work physically with my hands and make things every day. The work wasnât that exciting but the family was lovely and it was a short walk from my home, and only minutes from where my husband (then my fiancĂ©e) worked in a nearby factory. Every other week I could meet him as he finished work and weâd walk home together. It was especially lovely in the summer.
For six months we were happy. Then my husbandâs company started to make people redundant. They made my husband redundant more than three times over the coming months; letting him go, then taking him back. The emotional strain we were both under was excruciating⊠but we stayed strong. We had to.
Around that autumn (â09) my own boss called me and my co-worker in, saying tearfully that he would have to reduce our (already minimum wage) hours to a three-day week, or risk going under. We stuck it out as best we could for a few months, until I was offered a job by a friend who worked in a company some 20 miles away, as a Creative Designer. They sent me a few pieces of work to test me, then offered to employ me full time. I had been at my signwriting job for exactly one year.
Not having a car or license, I took the train for a while to my new job, before a co-worker offered to drive me . turned out he lived in the same village I worked in before. The new job was very high stress and my superior had a personal loathing for the man who gave me lifts; who was often late. Things became quite unpleasant between them.
I gradually came to realise that Iâd been hired almost on a whim. The company director had no idea what my real skills were, or even why I was there. (On the day of my âinterviewâ my superior wasnât there, so I was interviewed by the director himself â who later admitted he had no idea who I was or even what I could do.) My (then soon to be) husband was still employed at that point, but the final round of redundancies were looming and everyone knew the factory hadnât long to go.
Amid all this, my husband and I were married in a tiny local registrars. Weâd been engaged for about a year and decided there was no time like the present⊠the wedding was under ÂŁ500, including the ceremony, certificates, photographer, suits and wedding dress. We could not afford a honeymoon, and havenât had one to this day (itâs on our to-do list). But neither of us mind⊠I love him more than any other person in this world.
Finally my husband was made redundant for the last time. With him unemployed I had to face the fact that my own wage was not enough to support us. The strain was so great I would often make trips to the office toilets to cry throughout the day. My friend, who put me forward for the job and who lives in very different circumstances than us (living at home with a parent, paying v. low rent/bills, drives, single, higher wage and much less to worry about) thought I was insane for even considering leaving a job in the midst of a recession. I tried over and over to explain that I had no choice; the company had refused to raise my pay by the 2K or so a year I needed to keep us⊠that we were barely scraping by even with the free lifts from my colleague; what if they stopped? On top of it I was at my wits end; my husband the only thing keeping me going. I felt that the company saw me as totally expendable. Their view being, if I wasnât happy on my current modest 16K salary, they couldnât raise it out of principle; if they did it for one, theyâd have to review all the other staff who were owed pay rises. They would rather let me go.
We reached an agreement to not renew my contract, and I left after having been there for another exact year.
I later learned through a once-colleague that the company hired two new staff to replace me, at slightly less than my own wage â each. A small, cold comfort to know I was doing the work of two people. The company has since undergone radical changes, and may relocate to London in the near future. I have also learned that if I did ask to go back, itâs likely my salary would be less than it was previously.
Since leaving my last job, neither my husband nor I have found work. For a while (about 6 months) I stayed positive, learned more about self-employment, and threw myself into my artwork. I saw more of my husband than I had in years (owing to my long travel hours and his factory shifts), and we were poor, but so happy to be together all the time. I scraped together savings to enter my work in a big annual show with a fellow craftsman, hoping against hope to sell some pieces.
The show did not sell. Many people went, my work was very popular, but not one person bought. That was last summer. Since then, I find myself crying spontaneously, feeling lower and lower as the months go by. My husband has black days, too. After a while we were moved on to joint benefits, our money went down even more, and now the government has us on âthe work programmeâ. The job centres are so over-crowded with jobless people like us, that the government introduced the above scheme to cope with the strain; hiring outside companies to monitor our job hunts and âoffer adviceâ. Even the job centre staff are losing their jobs now. The WP scheme is a scam, the offices are an hour away by bus and the âone-to-one adviceâ consists of nothing but endless online job-searches and re-writing of CVs. The government says we have to attend these meetings for two years, or until we find employment.
I feel utterly worthless, always afraid, always on the brink of despair. My whole life Iâve had my art, and now I canât afford materials. Even more frightening, I now catch myself looking at my unfinished pieces and thinking âwhatâs the point?â. I feel Iâve lost the one thing that gave me self-worth. There arenât even part time jobs where I live, even though there are lots of small shops.
I try to look to the future, and all I see is the present. An endless stretch of empty job hunts and ignored CVs⊠sitting here for years, until one day Iâll look around and realise I have absolutely no joy left in me. I feel like all of us unemployed, the billions of us all over the world, are invisible. Without a job we have nothing, no self-definition, no self worth⊠no interest in collecting the things we used to love (we canât afford them) âŠno escape from the repetition, from the limbo. I used to laugh when asked if Iâm thinking of having kids some day (nearly 30 and all that.. tic toc..) âŠ.but we canât afford children, though nothing would make me happier.
Is it me? Am I broken? What do we do, all of us, if this goes on for years to come? How can we live?
OkâŠâŠ.. That all sounds like great advice.. Buuuuuuut let me give you some advice. If I canât find a job which I cant. I have no money and have not had insurance for the past four years because I was laid off from a job that closed in which I thought I would retire fromâŠ.. Any who, so no money, no medical insurance, no help from the government like foodstamps and such how can I afford to see a counselor, therapist, or buy prescription anti-deprresants. Bottom line is this didnât help me at all. And I may just be venting here but it sucks⊠I have my Bachelorâs in Business Administration and the only job prospects are 8 and 9 dollar an hour call center night jobs that havenât even called me back. O Lord please help me and my two girls. I am just going to keep praying.
Emily,
I can relate to the feelings of despair and worthlessness. Like you, I seem to have lost my passion. In May I am receiving my Masterâs degree in Human Development and Family Science, emphasis in Couple and Family Therapy. Instead of feeling excited and hopeful, all I feel is anxiety and despair. My number one fear in life is not being successful at my job or not getting a ârealâ job (not necessarily making a ton, but enough to not have to stress out about money all the time and enough to buy a house someday) or not liking the job I have. The only time Iâve felt alive and excited and happy in the past 5 years was when I was doing my internship where I was facilitating therapy with people, working as their therapist. That lasted for 2.5 years as required by my program. That ended 2 years ago and I had to replace my unpaid internship with paid jobs to support myself until I finished my thesis and was officially done with school. So, Iâve just had regular jobs, not doing therapy, and have been steadily becoming more and more unhappy with these jobs (I have two) and more and more worried about what my future holds. These jobs I have now are in social services, but they are low wage, high stress jobs. I used to enjoy them in the beginning, but the stress and crappy pay are just too much to handle. I really hope that I can find a job in my field because I am not one of those people who can just work whatever job even if they hate it. I do that right now and I feel like my soul is dead. I feel for you and I hope we all get through this.
Hello:
I soo understand where everyone is coming from. Iâm constantly looking for work and I get sooo tired and frustrated. I have a 4 year degree in sociology, but it doesnât matter how many degrees that a person may have, it remains the same in itâs not what you know, but who you know. I pray and ask God for courage and strength and I still feel discouraged! I feel like giving up! Iâm at my limit where I want to give up and say, âwhatâs the use?â
Eli,
How did your results go?
I donât know if it helps, but I donât think many people our age or 25-35, especially those who stuck it out through college/uni, HAVE ârealâ jobs at all⊠at least, not ones that lasted longer than a year or so. My husband and I are always stressing about money â and if Iâm honest, I stressed about money for the two or three years between leaving uni and meeting him. And the four years during uni itself. I wonder sometimes how many of us are all in the same situation.
I still have days when Iâm fine, feeling like Iâm almost normal⊠and donât even really remember why I was so utterly depressed in the first place. And then the next day I could be a mess, feeling so worthless I canât even go outside.
I hope youâre doing ok.
I am so glad I live in New Zealand! Whether we have a job or not we have healthcare cover. And we can access pharmaceuticals at reasonable prices. I too am suffering from job search depression but if I should choose to I can get anti-depressants for next to nothing. Hey guys what have you got against universal health care?
But back to the issue at hand. Itâs just too darn easy to lose a job in this rationalised world and too darn hard to find another one.
The best policy:- just keep trying and you will eventually land something.
And remember its not your fault!
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I have been unemployed since 2009 except for work at Avaya which has taken me to near suicide numerous times. I have had 2 heart attacks , 3 bypasse, depression, memory loss from âpump headâ FROM USING THE HEART LUNG MACHINE. My self worth had dropped to nil. I have filed for Social security Disability and am waiting the out come which could be weeks. I have 3 kids in college that i refuse to remove from school because of my issues.
I have had to walk away from Avaya because of depression and the lack of hope. I am 57 years old 30 years of IT and telecommunications and was one of the best in the northeast at one time, now I barely have the respect of close friends since I have so much doubt. At 57 I am dropped from interviews because of age and perceived lack of knowledgeand just too old.
My God bless all those that are searching and may he guide you to a opening for you. I must not be at a point of deserving as yet for I have failed so many times at so many interviews and positions.
Thank you for a space to speak 917 776 1179. It is closer to the end as my heart cannot continue to take this pressure and the doctors cant feel what it is like inside that must get out or be put to silence
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Iâm about ready to lose it. Iâve been job searching since 2015. I got a contract role at the end of 2016 but the role fell apart almost immediately. Toxic manager, most disorganized project I have ever worked on, and a long inconsistent commute (like it would take anywhere between 45 minutes and two hours to get back and forth). I quit that job and got a full-time role a couple of months later (I was pretty excited about this one). After only a couple of months in they changed the role and manager and expected me to catch on immediately. It was a bait and switch basically. The manager threatened to fire me so I quit. I have been unemployed ever since. It has now been 4 months.
Dear Dan,
Hang in there. Job search is tough, more so when your recent work history has been so frustrating. Look for the sweet spot between what your best at (= the most value you can bring), what youâd like to do next (and for whom!) and what is most in demand. Employers who are desperate to hire are more likely to be flexible. Being open to contract work gives you an advantage over others, especially if you can work remotely, but keep an eye out for reviews and talk to former employees of appealing companies, if you can, to discover and avoid toxic bosses. Ex-employees have nothing to lose and should be more forthcoming.
I just turned 61 and have grown weary applying for jobs â both those I am overqualified for and possibly under qualified for. It is exhausting trying to figure out what the magic formulation of words is to impress HR. I have followed all of the advice on key words and following the problem, action, solution format on my CV. Is age discrimination real? I am best suited to economic policy work, but I have extensive analysis and data skills and yet nothing. If I am able to get an actual rejection response from an HR department, it is so vague as to be useless. If deferred hope makes the heart weary, I am past that in the territory of struggling to figure out what the points is. Feeling like a drain on family and friends and wanting to be productive but running out of fuel to keep trying. Contacted counselor, taking short classes, trying to figure out what to do next. HELP!
Hi George. I feel your pain and frustration. Age discrimination is real, but itâs also too easy to use it as an excuse for a lack of results. Not every rejection is due to ageism.
Good for you for going all out in trying different tactics instead of just browsing the job boards all day long. Thatâs the place where you have the lowest odds of success. Instead, you need to impress with your skills and meet people who will value them so you can discover hidden leads and get referrals and invitations to interview for relevant jobs you didnât apply for.
Here are some more ideas:
https://jobmob.co.il/blog/40-tips-for-job-seekers-over-40/
Keep your chin up!
How to overcome depression because I canât find a job. Recruiters fill me with empty promises. Just so down
The hardest part of job search is the mental side. The fear of the unknown, the lack of self-confidence, the rejections⊠itâs not easy in the least.
Without knowing much about your situation, a good first confidence-building step is to compile a work portfolio by revisiting your past work successes, which also serves to remind you how great you can be again for a future employer:
https://jobmob.co.il/blog/work-portfolios/
Itâs been six months since I last worked. Iâm looking online everyday for hours. Itâs just getting worse. I feel like Iâm sinking into a void. I donât have a Support system to turn to. Whatâs next homelessness
Hi Noumea
I hear you. Itâs tough! And frustrating. Fortunately, you do have support systems to turn to. You can ask questions here or on other blogs, forums (such as reddit.com/r/jobs), in social media groups⊠and thatâs just online. You may have a local employment center or job search club you can visit as well.
If youâre desperate, take any job you can get to pay the bills, and keep looking for a better job the rest of the time. As for that, ask yourself (and others who know) which skills do you have that are most marketable/in demand where you live? Check local and national job boards to gauge demand for them, and apply where those skills are most in need:
https://jobmob.co.il/blog/top-job-boards/
https://jobmob.co.il/blog/blockchain-crypto-job-boards/
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I was employed with a company for 6 years , During these years I was harassed by my boss. One day he finally realized that I was never reacting to his actions â such as touching my face , inappropriate messages and so on .. until an argument with a colleague came along he managed to grab that opportunity and presented me a lawyer as a threat to fire me. He obviously left me no choice but to resign , it was IMPOSSIBLE staying at the job after my boss had sunk so low by presenting a lawyer cause of a supposedly argument/ disagreement with a colleague of mine .
5 days later I walked in his office on Monday morning and presented a resignation letter to him , to my surprise (shockingly enough ) he was shocked to say the least â apparently he did not expect me to make that move â I mean why should I ? He only presented a lawyer in his office against me and indirectly was basically telling me to leave .
Itâs been nearly 8 weeks and I still havenât found a job . â but why have you left you job ? It seemed like a great company to be working f for ? And six years is a very long time !â
The question which I hate knocking I will have to answer full of lies â because I obviously couldnât be honest and say â I was harassed by my bossâ oh and â had an argument with a colleague but rather than checking out with both of us ( as a true leader would have done ) he sent me a threatening email telling meâ you have the right to be accompanied by someone for the meeting â why act that way ? I wasnât reacting back to his â sleep tight xx â , inappropriate messages and touching .
I am now in a depression as I left the job with no other job in hand .
Iâm sorry that you had to go through all that, what a nightmare. Donât be ashamed to get therapy to help you recover from the trauma. Itâs unfair how a bad boss will continue to haunt you after you supposedly left them behind for good, but there are things you can to minimize that.
The âwhy did you leave your last employerâ question is always tricky when things didnât end amicably, but it is especially difficult in your situation even before getting into the emotional aspect of still recovering from trauma. This article does a good job explaining how to handle the situation. Depending on your comfort level, one tactic is to broach the topic first but on your terms, such as to come right out and say that you were harassed at your previous employer (without saying who it was exactly) and would like to know what the policy would be in a similar situation at the new employer?
Also, 8 weeks is not a long time for a job search! Especially if youâre getting interviews, which is very encouraging and shows that your resume works. If youâre not getting beyond the interview stage, and youâre coming in â understandably â nervous about discussing your ex-employer, you may be giving off too strong a vibe thatâs spooking recruiters about whether youâll be a good fit. Take some time to compile a work portfolio to bring with, which should give you a needed confidence boost before your next interview and hopefully make it easier for you to strut your stuff.