If you’re depressed over your job search like so many other job seekers, know that there many ways to get help, as psychotherapist Isabella Mori writes.
This article is a guest post by Isabella Mori of Change Therapy. If you’d also like to guest post here on JobMob, follow these guest post guidelines.
Among career practitioners, we often speak of the “roller coaster of job search.” It looks like this:
Need I say more?
We’ve all been there, haven’t we?
If this is your story right now, why not just go back to watching Oprah in your pyjamas, accompanied with a big bowl of potato chips and maybe pick up the phone tomorrow to call up that lead that Joe gave you yesterday. Nah, tomorrow is not a good day. Maybe next week some time.
Sound familiar? If this happens to you, it’s possible you’re just procrastinating a bit, you’re resting for a few well-deserved days, or you’re just having an off-day.
Or – you’re depressed.
There’s those off days, and the job search blues – but if the pattern of lack of motivation, feeling utterly blah, unexplainable crying even, or other uncomfortable moods persist for more than two weeks, if the down parts of that rollercoaster last too long and happen too often, chances are you are in a depression.
The previous articles in this series have talked about causes and signs for depression. Let me talk a bit about what to do.
The good thing about depression – yes, there are a few good things about depression – is that often, there’s much that can be done, and I certainly can’t list all of them here. Today, I’d like to lean on the words of a fellow blogger, Emma McCreary, who commented on an article of mine, Two Views Of Depression, a little while ago and see how we can use her ideas to help with job search depression.
9 actions you can take today
- Identify cognitive distortions such as focusing on the negative (“Yes, I have a degree in accounting but last year I made I mistake on a spreadsheet!”) and deal with them.
- If you’ve been on anti-depressants before and they have helped, maybe it’s time to use them again – talk to your doctor!
- Don’t just “suffer it”; please realize that you have a right to feel serene and content, and nobody benefits from your feeling down.
- Share your experience with others, with your friends and family, with a local support group, or online.
- Visit a counselor; sometimes just one or two visits can make quite a difference.
- Practice meditation and relaxation.
- Educate yourself; read a book such as Listening to Depression.
- Recognize that depression is often a coping mechanism. Don’t reject your depression; accept your parts that look “broken.”
- Practice non-violent communication and learn to talk gently and compassionately to yourself.
About the author
Isabella Mori is Canada’s blogging psychotherapist. She blogs about psychology, creativity, spirituality and social justice over at Change Therapy and can be reached at moritherapy [at] shaw [dot] ca.
JobMob’s Job Search Depression Series
This article is the third in a 4-part series on job search depression.
- Causes of Job Search Depression and How To Prevent It
- Signs of Job Search Depression
- 9 Ways To Deal With Job Search Depression
- ERAN Gives You Emotional First Aid in Israel
No exit? Wrong. Subscribe to JobMob via RSS or email and follow me on Twitter and find out how to pull yourself up right.
--Jacob Share
29 great comments. Join in!
Tags: depression, guest posts, Isabella-Mori, job search depression
Filed under: Must-Read Tips
Jacob Share is the founder and SVP of 
It’s gonna take more that this type of pop psychology to help the thousands that are in for a rough ride.
Comment by Alan Wilensky
Twitter: @awilensky — June 10, 2008 #
Thanks for your comment, Alan.
What suggestions do you have?
Comment by isabella mori
— June 10, 2008 #
My G-d, have we not sufficient reproofs that have overtaken us? Have we not seen how bedrock productivity has been robbed from the tradespeople and artisans and pushed up the ladder to the top 2% of professional executives and VC undertakers. ?
Ask for antidepressants? Where do you get this? Your crime is so egregious that you do not what that you commit it! Meditation? Good, for sure; but as a answer to a fundamentally ailing workforce?
Where does one begin to straighten out this kind of superficial journalism that aims to merely take up space – a phenomenon that has blossomed since the advent of blogging.
Comment by Alan Wilensky
Twitter: @awilensky — June 10, 2008 #
hi alan, thanks for continuing the conversation.
i’m guessing that you see work related depression in a sociopolitical context.
i don’t know what jacob’s plans are but i think that would definitely be another interesting blog post. interestingly enough, i just left a comment on another blog where i reminded the writer of the adage, “the personal is political and the political is personal.”
Comment by isabella mori
— June 11, 2008 #
[...] over to jacob’s blog JobMob for a post he invited me to guest write for his series on job search and depression. there’s the beginning of an interesting conversation in the comment section, why [...]
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— June 13, 2008 #
[...] Share presents 9 Ways To Deal With Job Search Depression posted at JobMob, saying, “If you’re depressed over your job search like so many other job [...]
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— July 27, 2008 #
[...] 9 Ways To Deal With Job Search Depression [...]
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— December 22, 2008 #
[...] 9 Ways To Deal With Job Search Depression [...]
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— April 22, 2009 #
RT @ErinKennedyCPRW Don’t Let Unemployment Blues Get You http://bit.ly/18RmTg (my add: http://tr.im/l3Gb)
Trackback by Jacob Share
— May 11, 2009 #
RT @jacobshare RT @ErinKennedyCPRW Don’t Let Unemployment Blues Get You http://bit.ly/18RmTg (my add: http://tr.im/l3Gb)
Trackback by ResumeBear
— May 11, 2009 #
I have a M.Ed. in Pyy. I am suppose to be helping people. I cannot find a job, I am in debt with school loans and I feel that my life is worthless. I thought I was strong, but sometimes I want to just give up.
Comment by Bonnie
Twitter: @TopCommunicator — June 25, 2009 #
How are you supposed to get antidepressants and counseling if you don’t have a job to get health insurance? I need antidepressants but I have no way of getting them because I don’t have insurance since I don’t have a job. Its a viscious cycle!
Comment by Alana
— October 27, 2009 #
Where do you find the meds when you are out of work and have no money?
Comment by Juliet
— March 30, 2010 #
The graph is not realistic at all. You have to add in a lot more “no response,” “didn’t get the job,” and “rewrite resume” sections. Also add in a timeline at the bottom. Is that supposed to be days, weeks, or months?
Comment by Ben
— June 3, 2010 #
[...] the case, the 30 minutes are probably not even very productive, and they’re better off seeking help for their depression.22% 2-4 hoursI’d like to see more people here.Ideally, on the average you would spend half [...]
Pingback by [POLL RESULTS AND ANALYSIS] How Much Time Do You Spend Job Searching Every Day? | JobMob
— June 27, 2010 #
This isn’t worthy enough to be called advice. Rather than reassuring luckless jobseekers like myself, you are patronizing them and telling them that the only real solution is to either read useless self-help books or bung up their systems with anti-depressants. Your stigmatization of us is simply perpetuating a self-fulfilling prophecy of being weak and inadequate. Thanks a lot ‘Doctor’-if you ever find yourself out of a job,test exactly how useful your own advice is.
Comment by Nikki
— July 26, 2010 #
Oh, I see. If I just meditate and read a few self help books, all of the problems of not having any money because I can’t find a job will just go away. I had no idea that meditation would get me a job. Bravo!
Comment by Frank
— September 7, 2010 #
I haven’t worked for 5yrs. I don’t have the money to buy gifts or cards.
I look back on my life as a loser.
My children hate me and they don’t talk to me too much I guess they have problems too.
I don’t have a phone can’t afford one.
I used to make good money but my family says I never did so I don’t talk to them or break bread with them.This is how I cope writing and reading
no talking to any of my old friends and if I bump into them I walk as fast away as I can.
Comment by karl
Twitter: @none — September 27, 2010 #
You do not need antidepressants. There are spiritual practioners at the Centers for Spiritual Living in every city in this country that are more than willing to support you through counsel – positive, uplifting, affrimative, encouraging, and empowering counsel, without any of the religious stuff. Just good spiritual connection and people holding the best for you.
Comment by Emily
— January 20, 2011 #
I am currently unemployed. I have been for 6 months. I have a MBA and BBA in Finance. I just chose the wrong job after graduation… listened to the wrong recruiter… and failed to take heed to the warning signs of the miserable failure of my former company. I no longer feel confident in my ability (even though others constantly praise me for my education and career accomplishments) to find a job or endure the realities of corporate America. Six months is a long time. I am at my breaking point. I feel like a failure. I don’t know what to do except for wait.
Comment by Mimi
— January 22, 2011 #
Mimi, I hope you read this. Although 6 months is not a long stretch to be out of work in this economy, it is not a good situation. You have very good credentials, and that is saying a ton. Please, dear, hear me as one who was out of work for all of 08, part of 07, and I am self employed, still there were no clients with work.
Mimi, look at the skills you practiced at your last job, and break it worn into actual deliverable chunks that small and medium businesses can use. Place ads on all of the on-line sources and make a simple, ugly blog or website with a services menu. Write a couple of articles from the heart about your skills and how you envision delivering them to your potential clients.
Then, go out to everyone you know, every single friend and colleague, cousin, everyone, skip the on-line job board, screw them they all die, and ask about if they know anyone who needs these services, and, what kind of new and unfulfilled finance and other specialty services the small and med businesses need.
Come up with a flair and a twist, a special promotion or be the type of finance consultant that is open, humorous or some other trait that makes you stand out from the crowd.
DO not be like the typical people on TV interviews, “I have sent out 500 resumes. I cant get a job.” I have compassion for these folks, but you need to make personal connections with the clients or employer that holds the key to your next check. Do not work with HR, do use recruiters, the devil’s seed. Only use a professional headhunter that you can meet and talk with.
You have skills, you have an education, you can break out and deliver these skills directly without a big corp behind you. Do not think of this as “starting a company”, that is too much and stressful. Just put your self out there and do one Google search for me, “Havi Boorks”. Good luck dear, you can do it.
Comment by Alan Wilensky
Twitter: @awilensky — January 22, 2011 #
I was laid off in 09′. From there I lost my car and my condo…couldn’t afford either anymore. I moved in with my boyfriend and quickly starting noticing my confidence and esteem diminish. At 28 I’ve worked since I was 14 years old and supported myself and I worked hard for everything I had. Then it was just gone. I didn’t just lose my financial stability, I lost my selfworth. And that was priceless. In 2010 I thought I was lucky enough to catch a break when I was given the opportunity to work a paid internship. It wasn’t my ideal job but it was a chance to jump off of my unemployment for awhile and work. When those 4 months came to an end I tried to refile. I was told that since this was an internship they didn’t have to report my earnings…be it paid or not. My unemployment has been done for a month now. I’ve been living literally pennies a day. Ramen noodles and what not.
I am mad constantly..I cry as I write this. I dont even know who this person is…I never cried over anything. I never rolled over and accepted things for what they were..
I lash out at everyone and anyone. I was successful and now I apply for anything..minimum wage jobs with uniforms.
Comment by Bianca
— September 3, 2011 #
Dear Bianca-
You are still the same amazing person with the incredible success story of supporting yourself from age 14!
All your skills and abilities are still there. You’re just going through a slump, like a baseball star who all of a sudden can’t seem to hit the ball anymore. If it happens to the best players – and it does, every single one – it can happen to you.
How do those other stars get out of their funk? By continuing to practice and play through it until that lucky day when they finally can hit again, and then they pick up from where they left off before the slump.
You need to do the same thing… with a bit of a twist. Those players have the support of their rich teams during their troubles, and if you’re on Ramen noodles, you also need some temporary extra support that will allow you to concentrate on a serious job search attempt for a position that matches your impressive skills.
Are there any family members or friends that can help you, or even host you for now?
How you tried contacting previous employers to see if they could use your skills once again?
Comment by Jacob Share
Twitter: @jacobshare — September 4, 2011 #
Thank god for alan for putting into words (if a bit harshly) my thoughts as I read that article. I’m sure whoever wrote this had a genuine desire to help and who knows it may have been the right pick-me-up for some teen out there but reading it noe after spending yet another night searching for jobs instead of sleeping , the last thing i want to hear is pop some anti-d’s , your depression doesn’t benefit anyone, hey presto meditate and your depression will be gone! there are no quick fixes honey! its just very amateur. You need to think a few graves deeper into those ideas if your ever to broach this topic again!
and dear god people anti depressants are THE LAST thing a depressed body/mind should be taking. anti depressants are the biggest selling point for pharmaceutical companies like Pfizer and the rest. after a year of s shit doctor jumping to give me them a new doctor doing her internship joined the pracice and recommended COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY without a mention of pills – the same success rate as anti depressants; 2/3rds she claimed. i start on tuesday we’ll see how things go! i’m only 20 but if i’ve learned one thing about this curse its that depression is not imaginary, it’s something that needs a lot of work and lifestyle changes not well-meaning pseudo science !!
Comment by anon
— October 16, 2011 #
*now *practice..also got lazy with the punctuation sorry :P
Comment by anon
— October 16, 2011 #
I’ve been looking for a job for the past 3 months, doing some temp work but not enough to even make a dent. The past 2 weeks have been especially hard for me, realizing the amount of interviews I’ve been to and that my savings are running out. I have another interview tomorrow with another “temp agency” so hope they can keep me busy for awhile. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even feel like eating at times, because I’m so preoccupied. Food costs money and money is what I don’t have now. It’s so hard living in a city and doing anything without spending some type of money. So I’m housebound for now, keeping my fingers crossed that things will start looking up for me.
Comment by Valentina
— November 16, 2011 #
I’m about ready to blow my brains out. srsly. I can’t take this much more. I f’n HATE it.
Comment by Dave
— January 27, 2012 #
Prayer means never having to leave a voice mail message – He answers every ring.
Dear Lord, I am a lowly sinner, a product of the 60′s, experimented with things I knew were wrong. I had an abortion, did drugs, lied and didn’t care. I always worked since 14 and held jobs in office administration. Even went to work high numerous times when younger. Now at 57, I’m laid off my job of 7 years. Application after application for 15 months, no food stamps and very little unemployment left. I feel empty inside, as if Evil is punishing me for my younger lifestyle. I try to be happy around my kids and then cry when they go to their own homes. I enjoy working and have very good skills. Why, then Lord, can’t I get a job? I’m scared. I remember when I could laugh and not worry. I want those days back. Please forgive me for I know here on Earth we are not perfect. I know my faith is real and that you hear my prayers. I really need you now Lord. I wake up every day and thank God for everything in my life. He is good and knows me best. Hear my prayer Lord. With all my heart and soul, please forgive me.
Comment by Melissa
— January 27, 2012 #
Melissa- The Lord helps those who help themselves. You need to stay active but not just for the sake of being active. You say you have good skills. If so, why are companies not hiring you? Ask them why they rejected you. That will give you a starting point to take action to right your job search ship.
Adam- it’s tough but you can and *will* pull through. Look at how you’re managing- you clearly have some good survival skills.
Stop scouring the help wanted ads; you’re just setting yourself up for a fall because those ads are being seen by many people, almost all of whom are going to get the same result as you- no job offer and a feeling of rejection.
Instead:
1) Contact any past bosses that liked your work and see if they have any more work for you or can refer you to someone who does.
2) If an entry-level job can tide you over for now, make yourself presentable and go for a walk to the nearest mall or part of town where there are many stores. Don’t even look for hiring signs, just go into the stores you’re qualified to help and ask if they have any openings. It could even be part-time.
More tips here:
Long Job Search? 25 Action Tips To End Yours ASAP
Comment by Jacob Share
Twitter: @jacobshare — February 1, 2012 #