It would be a shame to skip a great opportunity because someone in HR was trying too hard.

Job names cartoon

This is a guest post by Isaac Bullen. If you’d also like to guest post here on JobMob, follow these guest post guidelines.

Dreaming of a career change? Be careful of what you wish.

Check out these amusingly deceptive job titles along with their actual descriptions, including average pay rates from ehow.com, and companies currently hiring for some of these positions.

Job titles you haven’t seen before

1. Title: Knob Head (seriously!)

Description: Transportation specialist. Ok, I remember being derogatorily called this name as a young person. Who knew that with the right training a person could actually grow up to be one?

Average Pay Rate: $44,000/year

2. Title: Ideation Director

Description: Marketing Executive. Idea + Generation = Ideation? This is why the marketing people should not be left unsupervised for long periods of time.

Average Pay Rate: $120,070/year

3. Title: Integration Synchronicity Specialist

Description: Systems Engineer. It looks like the technology department has fallen prey to the marketing department’s “ideations.”

Average Pay Rate: $90,000/year

4. Title: Business Communications Conveyer

Description: Courier. It’s honest work for those who do not want to be stuck in an office. The dream job tends to sour on bad weather days, however.

Average Pay Rate: $25,710/year

5. Title: Public Sanitation Technicians

Description: Garbage Collector. This has to be the most under-appreciated job on the planet.

Average Pay Rate: $29,000/year

6. Title: Office Hygiene Control Specialist

Description: Cleaner/Janitor. Again, this is honest work for those who want a physically active job and the opportunity to snoop around offices after hours.

Average Pay Rate: $21,970/year

7. Title: Office Administration Facilitator

Description: Office Orderly. If you are fortunate enough to have obtained such a cushy position, just be thankful for the moment. With companies downsizing and managers expected to multi-task, the office orderly may be an endangered species.

Average Pay Rate: $28,136/year

8. Title: Theft Prevention and Surveillance Officer

Description: Watchman/Security Guard. As long as wealth distribution officers or thieves as they are so disrespectfully called exist, the good security guard will always remain employed.

Average Pay Rate: $52,000/year

9. Title: Dreams Fulfiller

Description: Financial Services Consultant. According to the “Occupy Wall Street” crowd, the financial services industry may indeed have made someone’s dream come true at the expense of 99% of Americans representing the middle class.

Average Pay Rate: $81,802/year

10. Title: Printed Document Handler

Description: Typist. Yes, this occupation still exists usually in the form of a court clerk or data entry analyst. To be competitive in this field, one has to be extremely fast and accurate. I’m talking smoke coming from your fingers fast!

Average Pay Rate: $43,000/year

11. Title: Change Catalyst

Description: Business Executive. Lately “change” in business equates to layoffs. I’d venture to call this position the “termination catalyst.”

Average Pay Rate: $110,550/year

12. Title: Bat Cave Scavenger

Description: Fertilizer collector. This job requires identifying a bat habitat and proceeding to collect the bat’s poop. The bat’s guano is supposed to be a rich source of natural fertilizer. This position was featured on “Dirty Jobs” with Mike Rowe. This is clearly a very nasty career choice and no cool, black “bat mobile” is included.

Average Pay Rate: Unknown; pay may vary by bat cave.

13. Title: Food Preparation Officer

Description: Cook. This is one of my most esteemed professions.

Average Pay Rate: $40,000/year for a specialty food service catering cook.

14. Title: Office Access Control Specialist

Description: Receptionist. This is the infamous door keeper dreaded by outside sales professionals.

Average Pay Rate: $25,095/year

15. Title: Family Environs Upkeep Manager

Description: House Maid. An even more politically incorrect description would be simply “Mom.” For the record though, the description is officially “housekeeper”.

Average Pay Rate: $21,840/year

These last 5 positions with funny job names are from companies which are hiring.

16. Title: PHP Ninja

Description: Web Application Developer

Average Pay Rate: $60,000/year

Hiring Company: SurfMerchants LLC

17. Title: Vision Clearance Engineer

Description: Windshield Replacer

Average Pay Rate: $50,000/year and up

Hiring Company: Redline Executives

18. Title: Nutritional Intervention Advisor

Description: Weight Loss Consultant

Average Pay Rate: $19,000/year

Hiring Company: Jenny Craig

19. Title: Tonsorial Artist

Description: Barber

Average Pay Rate: $19,998/year and up

Hiring Company: Baxter Finley Barber and Shop

20. Title: Canine Relocation Specialist

Description: Dog catcher also known as animal control.

Average Pay Rate: $34,020/year

Hiring Company: State and local governments

Did the lists inspire a career change or a sigh of relieved contentment for your current position? At the very least, you may be tempted to revamp your resume using some of these creative titles.

About the Author

This article was compiled and written by Isaac a blogger who writes for a number of UK businesses including AON Hewitt, a business who specialise in employee benefits and auto enrolment. Isaac spends much of his spare time reading blogs like JobMob and cycling when the weather permits. His LinkedIn profile is available at http://www.linkedin.com/in/ibullen.

Question of the article

What’s the strangest job title you’ve ever seen for your own profession? Tell us in the comments.

If you liked this article, you’ll also enjoy my Funniest Strangest Job Titles Ever.

Subscribe to JobMob via RSS or email and follow me on Twitter for a better understanding of your job market.


--Jacob Share