150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever – JobMob

150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever

People write the strangest things on their resumes, sometimes downright hysterical. Why should only recruiting managers get to laugh at these? The Top 10 are at the bottom. Enjoy!
Insert Brain Here

From Resume Hell:

  1. “Career break in 1999 to renovate my horse”
  2. “1990 – 1997: Stewardess – Royal Air Force”
  3. Hobbies: “enjoy cooking Chinese and Italians”
  4. “Service for old man to check they are still alive or not.”
  5. Cleaning skills: “bleaching, pot washing, window cleaning, mopping, e.t.c”
  6. “Job involved…counselling clientele on accidental insurance policies available”
  7. “2001 summer Voluntary work for taking care of the elderly and vegetable people”
  8. “I'm intrested to here more about that. I'm working today in a furniture factory as a drawer”
  9. “I am about to enrol on a Business and Finance Degree with the Open University. I feel that this qualification will prove detrimental to me for future success.”
  10. “Time is very valuable and it should be always used to achieve optimum results and I believe it should not be played around with”
  11. “I belive that weakness is the first level of strength, given the right attitude and driving force. My school advised me to fix my punctuality…”

From Careerbuilder.ca's 10 Wackiest Resume Blunders:

  1. Candidate included a letter from his mother.
  2. Candidate stated the ability to persuade people sexually using her words.
  3. Candidate wrote résumé as a play – Act 1, Act 2, etc.
  4. Candidate included naked picture of himself.

From Amy Joyce on Resume Bloopers:

  1. “Skills: Strong Work Ethic, Attention to Detail, Team Player, Self Motivated, Attention to Detail”
  2. Woman who sent her résumé and cover letter without deleting someone else's editing, including such comments as “I don't think you want to say this about yourself here”

From Ask Annie's article about resume blunders:

  1. “an applicant ghosted a headshot as the background to her resume”
  2. Other Interests: “Playing with my two dogs (They actually belong to my wife but I love the dogs more than my wife)”.
  3. “One applicant used colored paper and drew glitter designs around the border”
  4. Hobbies: “getting drunk everynight down by the water, playing my guitar and smoking pot”
  5. Why Interested in Position: “to keep my parole officer from putting back me in jail”
  6. A woman had attached a picture of herself in a mini mouse costume
  7. Hobbies: “Drugs and girls”.
  8. Under “job related skills” – for a web designer – “can function without additional oxygen at 24,000 feet”.
  9. My sister-in-law misspelled the word “proofreading” in her skill set.
  10. The objective on one recent resume I received stated that the applicant wished to pursue a challenging account executive position with our rival firm.
  11. Objective: “career on the Information Supper Highway”
  12. Experience: “Stalking, shipping & receiving”
  13. “I am great with the pubic.”
  14. A candidate listed her e-mail address as pornstardelight@*****.com
  15. The applicant listed her name as Alice in the resume but wrote Alyce on the onsite application.
  16. One candidate's electronic resume included links to her homepage, where the pictures were of her in the nude.
  17. “…sent out my resume on the back side of a draft of a cover letter to another firm…”
  18. “My duties included cleaning the restrooms and seating the customers.”
  19. One applicant for a nursing position noted that she didn't like dealing with blood or needles.
  20. Achievements: “Nominated for prom queen”
  21. I once received a resume with a head and shoulders picture in the top left of the first page. The picture was of a lion's head, wearing a coat, shirt, and tie.
  22. a resume… was printed on the back of the person's current employer's letterhead.
  23. One resume that came across my desk stated how the individual had won a contest for building toothpick bridges in middle school.
  24. A resume… had several grease stains and a smudge of chocolate on it
  25. Hobbies: “Having a good time”

From Careerbuilder.com's Top 12 Wackiest Resume Blunders:

  1. Candidate explained a gap in employment by saying it was because he was getting over the death of his cat for three months.
  2. Candidate's hobbies included sitting on the levee at night watching alligators.
  3. Candidate explained an arrest by stating, “We stole a pig, but it was a really small pig.”
  4. Candidate included family medical history.

From Mainejobs.com's Avoid These Resume Bloopers:

  1. “nine-page cover letter accompanied by a four-page résumé”
  2. “One applicant tried to make an impression by using four different fonts, three ink colors and a variety of highlighting options on her résumé”

From ResumePower.com's Ten Classic Resume Bloopers:

  1. “Revolved customer problems and inquiries.”
  2. “Consistently tanked as top sales producer for new accounts.”
  3. “Planned new corporate facility at $3 million over budget.”
  4. “Seeking a party-time position with potential for advancement.”

From HotJobs' Real-life Resume Blunders to Avoid:

  1. “I often use a laptap.”
  2. “Able to say the ABCs backward in under five seconds.”
  3. “I am a wedge with a sponge taped to it. My purpose is to wedge myself into someone's door to absorb as much as possible.”

From Fortune Magazine via HumorMatters.com:

  1. “Finished eighth in my class of ten.”
  2. “Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.”
  3. “Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.”
  4. “Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.”
  5. “Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.”
  6. “It's best for employers that I not work with people.”
  7. “Let's meet, so you can ‘ooh' and ‘aah' over my experience.”
  8. “I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.”
  9. “You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.”
  10. “I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.”
  11. “Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.”
  12. “Marital status: often. Children: various.”
  13. “I am loyal to my employer at all costs..Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.”
  14. “Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.”

From Resumania's Archive:

  1. Job Duties: “Answer phones, file papers, respond to customer e-mails, take odors.”
  2. Interests: “Gossiping.”
  3. Favorite Activities: “Playing trivia games. I am a repository of worthless knowledge.”
  4. Skills: “I can type without looking at thekeyboard.”
  5. Employer: ” Myself; received pay raise for high sales.”
  6. Objective: “I want to play a major part in watching a company advance.”
  7. Experience: “Chapter president, 1887-1992.”
  8. Experience: “Demonstrated ability in multi-tasting.”
  9. Experience: “I'm a hard worker, etc.”
  10. Languages: “Speak English and Spinach.”
  11. Reason for leaving: “I thought the world was coming to an end.”
  12. Additional skills: “I am a Notary Republic.”
  13. Objective: “So one of the main things for me is, as the movie ‘Jerry McGuire' puts it, ‘Show me the money!'”
  14. Skills: “I have integrity so I will not steal office supplies and take them home.”
  15. Objective: “To hopefully associate with a millionaire one day.”
  16. Skills: “I have technical skills that will take your breath away.”
  17. Qualifications: “I have guts, drive, ambition and heart, which is probably more than a lot of the drones that you have working for you.”
  18. Objective: “I need money because I have bills to pay and I would like to have a life, go out partying, please my young wife with gifts, and have a menu entrée consisting of more than soup.”
  19. Qualifications: “Twin sister has accounting degree.”
  20. Experience: “Have not yet been abducted by aliens.”
  21. Skills: “Written communication = 3 years; verbal communication = 5 years.”
  22. Objective: “I would like to work for a company that is very lax when it comes to tardiness.”
  23. Education: “I possess a moderate educatin but willing to learn more.”
  24. Education: “Have repeated courses repeatedly.”
  25. Salary requirements: “The higher the better.”
  26. Salary desired: “Starting over due to recent bankruptcies. Need large bonus when starting job.”
  27. Bad traits: “I am very bad about time and don't mind admitting it. Having to arrive at a certain hour doesn't make sense to me. What does make sense is that I do the job. Any company that insists upon rigid time schedules will find me a nightmare.”
  28. References: “Bill, Tom, Eric. But I don't know their phone numbers.”
  29. Work experience: “Two years as a blackjack and baccarat dealer. Strong emphasis on customer relations – a constant challenge considering how much money people lose and how angry they can get.”
  30. Personal: “I limit important relationships to people who want to do what I want them to do.”
  31. Objective: “Student today. Vice president tomarrow.”
  32. Accomplishments: “Brought in a balloon artist to entertain the team.”
  33. Application: Why should an employer hire you? “I bring doughnuts on Friday.”
  34. Achievements: “First runner-up for Miss Fort Worth, 1982.”
  35. Reason for leaving: “Pushed aside so the vice president's girlfriend could steal my job.”
  36. Special skills: “I've got a Ph.D. in human feelings.”
  37. Reason for leaving last job: “Bounty hunting was outlawed in my state.”
  38. Experience: “Any interruption in employment is due to being unemployed.”
  39. Objective: “To become Overlord of the Galaxy!”
  40. Objective: “What I'm looking for in a job: #1) Money #2) Money #3) Money.”
  41. Hobbies: “Mushroom hunting.”
  42. Experience: “Child care provider: Organized activities; prepared lunches and snakes.”
  43. Objective: “My dream job would be as a professional baseball player, but since I can't do that, I'll settle on being an accountant.”
  44. Awards: “National record for eating 45 eggs in two minutes.”
  45. Heading on stationery: “I'd Break Mom's Heart to Work For You!”
  46. “I am a ‘neat nut' with a reputation for being hardnosed. I have no patience for sloppywork, carelessmistakes and theft of companytime.”
  47. Experience: “Provide Custer Service.”
  48. Experience: “I was brought in as a turnaround consultant to help turn the company around.”
  49. Strengths: “Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.”
  50. Work experience: “Responsibilities included checking customers out.”
  51. Work experience: “Maintained files and reports, did data processing, cashed employees' paychecks.”
  52. Educational background: “Highschool was a incredible experience.”
  53. Resume: “A great management team that has patents with its workers.”
  54. Cover letter: “Experienced in all faucets of accounting.”
  55. Objective: “I am anxious to use my exiting skills.”
  56. Personal: “I am loyal and know when to keep my big mouth shut.”
  57. Job duties: “Filing, billing, printing and coping.”
  58. Application: “Q: In what local areas do you prefer to work? A: Smoking.”
  59. Reason for leaving: “Terminated after saying, ‘It would be a blessing to be fired.'”
  60. Personal: “My family is willing to relocate. However not to New England (too cold) and not to Southern California (earthquakes). Indianapolis or Chicago would be fine. My youngest prefers Orlando's proximity to Disney World.”
  61. Resume: “I have a lifetime's worth of technical expertise (I wasn't born – my mother simply chose ‘eject child' from the special menu.”
  62. Resume: “Spent several years in the United States Navel Reserve.”
  63. Qualifications: “I have extensive experience with foreign accents.”
  64. “I am fully aware of the king of attention this position requires.”
  65. References: “Please do not contact my immediate supervisor at the company. My colleagues will give me a better reference.”
  66. “Worked in a consulting office where I carried out my own accountant.”
  67. Accomplishments: “My contributions on product launches were based on dreams that I had.”
  68. Career: “I have worked with restraints for the past two years.”
  69. Experience: “My father is a computer programmer, so I have 15 years of computer experience.”
  70. Education: “I have a bachelorette degree in computers.”

JobMob Top 10

  1. Application: How large was the department you worked in with your last company? “A: 3 stories.” (Resumania)
  2. A resume listed a skill as “being bi-lingual in three languages” (Ask Annie's)
  3. Background: “28 dog years of experience in sales (four human).” (Resumania)
  4. In the section that read “Emergency Contact Number” she wrote “911.” (Ask Annie's)
  5. Candidate drew a picture of a car on the outside of the envelope and said it was the hiring manager's gift. (Careerbuilder.com)
  6. Languages: “Fluent in English. Also I have been heard muttering Gibberish in my sleep.” (Resumania)
  7. “Directed $25 million anal shipping and receiving operations.” (ResumePower.com)
  8. On one of our applications, a girl wrote ” I'm 16, I'm pregnant and I can do anything.” At the same time she turned in her application, her boyfriend handed in his. On his: “Felony for breaking and entering.” (Ask Annie's)
  9. “One candidate included clipart on their resume of two cartoons shaking hands.” (Ask Annie's)
  10. Application: “On the line that asked what “sex” he was, he wrote “occassionally”.” (Ask Annie's)

WANT SOME MORE? READ NEXT: 150 More Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever

This article is part of Litemind's Lists Group Writing Project.

Still giggling? Subscribe to JobMob via RSS or email and follow me on Twitter for more laughing matters in your job search.

About the Author Jacob Share

Job Search Expert, Professional Blogger, Creative Thinker, Community Builder with a sense of humor. I like to help people.

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286 comments
Jacob Share
IslandJobs (IslandJobs) says

150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever | JobMob http://tinyurl.com/69gkjz

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bloggernoob says

haha. good stuff.

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Lists Group Writing Project Entries says

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Brad Shorr says

These are hilarious – and horrifying if you were the author. It’s always a good idea to have someone else proofread your stuff.

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“We stole a pig, but it was a really small pig.â€? « Dewb says

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Sucker says

Haha that’s hilarious!

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Jacob Share
Want To Win $100? - Internet Marketing Sucks! says

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Jacob Share
What To Look For In List Posts | Interesting Observations says

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Jacob Share
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goldman says

i enjoyed reading your commentaries especialy on blunders that prospective employees make on their resumes, it was quite informative. may you please send me information on how to write the resume(especialy the lay out and how to present it.

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jacob says

Hi Goldman, glad you enjoyed the read. You can find more tips from the JobMob archives about resume writing. Also, we’ve bookmarked some great links in the JobMob del.icio.us account.

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Recruitnik says

People outside recruitment don’t understand we can not make this stuff up!

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Bernard says

I dont understand what is funny about Resume Hell No 2???

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jacob says

Recruitnik- I know. Great, isn’t it? You guys are lucky, not everyone gets such comic relief on the job.

Bernard- It’s the visual of a stewardess in the fighter cockpit

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Funniest Resume Story Ever | JobMob says

[…] compiling the 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes Ever, I came upon the following anecdote and it was too funny not to pass […]

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FunnyList says

29. Work experience: “Two years as a blackjack and baccarat dealer. Strong emphasis on customer relations – a constant challenge considering how much money people lose and how angry they can get.”

Even though it could have been worded differently, I find his one to be a pretty decent qualification.

————————————————————————————————————————–
“Skills: Strong Work Ethic, Attention to Detail, Team Player, Self Motivated, Attention to Detail”
This one is just perfect.

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Jacob Share
Anna says

Oh boy these are really funny! Anna 🙂 PS got your blog link from Robyn’s Brain Based Biz.

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jacob says

Glad you laughed, Anna. Thanks for telling me about Robyn’s site, I just Stumbled it. Her article is also funny

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Meirav says

This one is supper..
“Let’s meet, so you can ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over my experience”
LOL

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51 Funny Craigslist Job Titles and Listings | JobMob says

[…] I saw the message on the gas pump, I first thought of all these funny resume blunders. Since Robyn – another blogger in this group writing project – already mentioned them in her […]

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Andrew Milner says

“Son of God”
Taking comment by Mullah rather too literally.
“We are all sons of God.”

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Jacob Share
Clive Harris says

A couple of years ago, when applying for a job designing electronic surveillance equipment, I included in my application letter the fact that I had just obtained a pilot’s licence. They offered me the job!

Sometimes, adding something unusual to a job application can help. In my case, I was trying to prove that, at 49, I wasn’t yet “over the hill”, and I could manage stressful situations.

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caro says

I have had a wonderful giggle at some of the above. Good fun to read. Thank you for letting us enjoy them. Very funny, made my afternoon!

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Jacob Share says

Clive- great success tip, thanks!

caro- glad you enjoyed the list. I had a lot of fun putting it together. I’m sure you’ll also enjoy some of the other funnies under the ‘Best Of’ tab here above on the right.

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Dodgeblogium » 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever says

[…] Why should only recruiting managers get to laugh at these? The Top 10 are at the bottom. Enjoy! read more | digg […]

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Dan says

Ermm… I’ve already heard or seen most of these, and I’m not in recruitment. Then – I’m the guy in the office with Dilbert on my cubicle walls.

Expand and organize, there’s a whole lot more stupidity going out there on resumes.

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Jacob Share
Mr. Martin Sands says

“I am a ‘neat nut’ with a reputation for being hardnosed. I have no patience for sloppywork, carelessmistakes and theft of companytime.”

I think this guy worked for me at my last job!!!

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Rohan Dhruva says

Nice collection.. Interesting read 🙂

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150 Funniest Resume Mistakes | My Shits and Giggles says

[…] sometimes downright hysterical. Why should only recruiting managers get to laugh at these? [150 Funniest Resume Mistakes] Tags: bloopers, mistakes, resume, stupidityPosted in Funny […]

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malique says

good times, good times!

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Chimbles says

Some people are just too much, this is hilarious! LOL

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Errores no intencionados en los curriculums says

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JOhn Thomas says

LOL, looks like they took several of those bloopers from my Resume! LOL

JJ

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Tom Howarth says

very funny, appart from the fact that the RAF does acutally have stewardess, they serve on the RAF’s Tristar fleet.

“1990 – 1997: Stewardess – Royal Air Force”

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Stuff to Look At - 6/2/08 | s00per.com ( · )( · ) hand check! says

[…] Funniest Resume Mistakes (Story) […]

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kimberlykaye.com » Blog Archive » Would You Hire These People? says

[…] JobMob has a funny collection of resume blunders from various websites.  Here are some of my favorites. […]

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babino says

I don’t understand why 1990 – 1997: Stewardess to the royal air force is funny? There are stewardess’ in the air force.

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Tom Howarth says

Yes, I think you will also find they are in the Royal Canadian Airforce as well, the RAF’s Tristar fleet is used to do troop transport to locations like the Falklands, Belize etc and operates form Brize Norton. it operates almost as a scheduled airline, it is just operated by the military In fact if you visit the Falklands and travel by air you will actually travel CrabAir 🙂

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MundoQuente » O que non se debe contar nun curriculum says

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confidential says

OMFG, With all these people out there, no wonder I get so many call backs on my resume.

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Jacob Share says

babino and Tom – it’s just the visual of having a stewardess for a fighter pilot.

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Tom Howarth says

why not, there are women on the front line now, and the israelis have had active combat women for years, and damn good they look too. 🙂

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RP says

I also love mushroom hunting. If you’re quick with the old rifle you can sometimes bag 2 of the little suckers at the same time before they manage to scarper off behind a tree.

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Jacob Share says

Tom, I know, most of my Israeli army unit (not Air Force) were good-looking women. And Israel has female fighter pilots and male stewards, but there’s still no room for anyone to carry peanuts around in an F-16 or Harrier cockpit 😉

CrabAir, what a great name if your planes tend to crash in the sea.

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150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever | JobMob | Leadership & Communication Center says

[…] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever | JobMob […]

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Yasser says

Too funny lol

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Malarkey says

Hey! #41 from Resumania’s Archive is “mushroom hunting,” which is totally fun and has nothing to do with hallucinogenics. Basically you walk around the woods looking for edible mushrooms, which is great if you’re like me and you enjoy walking around in the woods.

I just went and found 3 morels on Saturday. I sauteed them in butter and they were delicious. The season’s almost over!

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Peaceyoulove says

REALLY GOOD THING!!

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Greg says

All hilarious, but what’s depressing is I could see myself putting some of these in mine, since my art school insisted that we inject some personality in the “Interests” section

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Career Objective: Fail says

[…] Objective: Fail Lists of resume blunders. “I am a wedge with a sponge taped to it. My purpose is to wedge myself into someone’s door to […]

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Your Daily Link Drop - June 2, 2008 | eNNvy says

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Consejos para escribir un currículum « No Puedo Creer - Noticias says

[…] eso, os traigo unos cuantos consejos que se desprenden de los 150 errores “graciosos” (aquí están todos, pero en inglés) que han ido cometiendo la gente hoygans y otros personajes del mismo estilo al enviar un […]

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dodddddddd says

some of these are obviously jokes or little witty remarks to make the hiring manager laugh and get his attention, they shouldn’t be listed under “blunder”

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business says

Hahaa, I think one of those is mine.

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150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever | ???? says

[…] Written by Jacob Share […]

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News » Career Objective: Fail says

[…] Lists of resume blunders. “I am a wedge with a sponge taped to it. My purpose is to wedge myself into someone’s door to absorb as much as possible.” […]

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Skribit Blog » Blog Archive » What Happened Today? says

[…] First, congrats to Jobmob on getting their post dugg.  Great post. […]

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Steph says

Great list. I loved reviewing resumes at my last job. Some of the things people wrote were just hysterical. My favourite was between the guy who wrote an 8-page resume/essay in full paragraph style or the guy who wrote about the porn store he used to own.

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Humor en los Curriculum Vitae « Primera Voz says

[…] un artículo que describe algunos de los errores más sorprendentes escritos en curriculums vitae (resume in English). Gracias a Rubén y su portal Online.com.es las podemos leer traducidas a […]

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What Not To Put On Your CV « The Chamber says

[…] What Not To Put On Your CV June 3, 2008 Posted by liverpoolchamber in Top Tips, World Wide Web. Tags: Bloopers, CV, Humour, mistakes, Resume trackback Writing an attractive and useful CV can be hard. No-one likes to condense their life to two sides of A4 in the pursuit of career advancement. But let’s hope none of us have committed any of the blunders found on this list over at the Jobmob website. […]

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What not to write when applying for a job « The World Of M says

[…] June 3, 2008 in Funny signs, world wide whackTags: cv, employmeny, funny, job tips, mistakes, resume Imagine if you are on a hiring committee and you have to read thousands of covering letters and CVs. It can be a really dull and painful job. But when you get these jewels, it makes those hard times sort-of worth it. Copied shamelessly as-is from JobMob. […]

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Hilarious Resume Disasters : My Secret Side Biz says

[…] got a side business going, you’re probably always looking out for new clients as well. JobMob has a long list of resume blunders, either typos that were inadvertantly funny (Skills: Strong Work Ethic, Attention to Detail, Team […]

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Amy says

I worked for a staffing company as a supervisor, so I saw a LOT of bad resumes. My favorite was from a college-aged girl named Candace. She had written her name vertically on her resume (where the work experience section normally is) and had written an adjective for each letter of her name, with an explanation.

C – can do anything
A – attentive to detail
N – not afraid to go the extra mile
D – delightful to work with
A – always on time
C – clean
E – elegant

It cracked the whole office up. I wanted to frame it and put it on the wall, but my boss wouldn’t let me. 🙂

Amy @ http://prettybabies.blogspot.com

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Madpercolator » Blog Archive » Worst Resume Moves says

[…] Lists of resume blunders. “I am a wedge with a sponge taped to it. My purpose is to wedge myself into someone’s door to absorb as much as possible.” […]

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SalvadorLeal.com » 10 años says

[…] El post original, aquí. […]

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steve says

My wife was the human resource director at a bank and they are always hiring tellers. One candidate’s cover letter stated that her previous experience in a retail store was a plus in that it gave her the opportunity to have “extensive intercourse with the public”. Classic!

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T-Orienta » links for 2008-06-03 says

[…] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever (tags: CV humor) […]

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ptitz says

whats so weird about mushroom hunting? its a fun hobby actually.

i really liked this one

Hobbies: “getting drunk everynight down by the water, playing my guitar and smoking pot”

i mean… come on, most peoples hobbies would just include *layin on a couch all day watchun telly*. at least this guy is somewhat poetic.

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Life of Alan » links for 2008-06-04 says

[…] “150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever” [JobMob] People write the strangest things on their resumes, sometimes downright hysterical. Why should only recruiting managers get to laugh at these? The Top 10 are at the bottom. Enjoy! (tags: Jobs) […]

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Errores no intencionados en los curriculums [EN] [HUMOR] says

[…] Errores no intencionados en los curriculums [EN] [HUMOR]jobmob.co.il/blog/funniest-resume-mistakes/ por Tanatos hace pocos segundos […]

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Ohhhhh! Bama. « Reversiblepanda’s Weblog says

[…] 150 Resume’ blunders […]

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Buenos Aires de Diseño » Blog Archive » Currículum fallido says

[…] sabés inglés, podés leer más en 150 Funniest Resume mistakesResumaniaResume hell10 dumbest resume blundersTen Classic Resume Bloopers – Know Them So You […]

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Jim Olenbush says

Great post – some of these made me laugh out loud!

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Jacob Share says

Malarkey, ptitz – there’s nothing wrong with mushroom hunting, but it does sound funny. I used to put “mixology” in my resume’s Personal Interests but stopped doing it because it was having more of a negative impact than positive, and your resume should only leave a positive impression of you. In both cases, people were more apt to misunderstand the real meaning.

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Jacob Share says

steve- hysterical

Amy – awesome. I love the C for Clean.

Steph – I should add your examples to the list…better yet, I’ll make another one 🙂

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Jacob Share says

dodddddddd- the best way to get a hiring manager’s attention is by having a resume that corresponds to exactly what she’s hoping for, not by having her think you’re funny (unless that’s important for the job, of course). Like it or not, that’s reality.

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Jacob Share says

Greg- a lot of people give out that advice, but they don’t finish telling it all. To get serious for a moment…a resume is a sales document, the point of which is to get you an interview. Everything on it should be there to sell you to the hiring company. If you think that company wants to know about your art (for example), put it on there. If not or unsure, leave it off. And you should ask yourself those customization questions pretty much every time.

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Hugh says

Amy: I saw one like that recently too. This guy had his surname vertically, faded into the background, with words like that (I don’t have the CV here, so I couldn’t tell you the details).

His email address was also vertically down the side of the page, meaning that I had to go through it letter by letter to figure out what it actually said.

The CV itself was a flow-chart. I had to search through the boxes for the “previous experience” section to even figure out what kind of job this guy was applying for. Needless to say, we had a bit of a laugh about it, and, while I left it with the people who deal with this kind of thing, I seriously doubt he’ll be hearing anything back.

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Resume Blunders — The Office Master says

[…] process up. The reason I am bringing this up is a article I came across today that listed the 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers, and Blunders Ever. Its quite funny, here are some good ones: “Time is very valuable and it should be always used […]

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nathanr|ca » 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever says

[…] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever | JobMob This entry was posted by Nathan on June 5th, 2008 at 2:47 and is filed under Links. You can leave […]

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Job Quiz says

Very good knowledge for job seekers.Detailed and descriptive one.

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Jacob Share says

Hugh, your example sounds like one of the most time-consuming time-wasting resumes ever. A worst-case scenario. Glad you guys at least got a laugh out of it. If you have a scanned copy I’d love to post it here on JobMob after anonymizing it of course.

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Pete Aldin says

No wonder this has 93 comments now. I loved myself sick. “Responsibilities included checking customers out.”

Well, I guess we could all put that one on a resume…

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cc review says

The best! “Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.”

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Payaso Sardonico says

I wonder what was the position they were applying for ???

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Top Posts of May 2008 | JobMob says

[…] Most Popular 50 Funniest Short Job Descriptions Ever Funniest Strangest Job Titles Ever 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever Top 10 Best Job Ads of the World The Funniest Rejection Letter Ever 51 Funny Craigslist Job […]

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Links - 17th June 2008 « Curiously Persistent says

[…] 150 funny CV errors (Job Mob) […]

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Barbaridades en currúculums « Blog Smith Dude says

[…] en currúculums He encontrado en la red: “150 Funniest Resume mistakes“. Un artículo donde recogen algunas de las barbaridades que la gente mete dentro de sus […]

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Funny Mistakes Made On Resumes | The BeBizzy Blog says

[…] has compiled a list of the 150 Funniest Mistakes made on resumes.  The list was gathered from other webistes like ResumeHell, CareerBuilder, and […]

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John Smith says

I had a resume come postage due! He got my attention! I hired him!!

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niaher says

Very funny! HR staff must really enjoy their job, having to meet such interesting people who are completely nuts.

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Dave Sharp says

I was interviewed once by a guy who looked and sounded exactly like Spicoli from “Fast Times At Ridgemont High”. I thought somebody was playing a joke on me, so I decided to treat the interview as such.

He asked me what my greatest weakness was. I said “really good chinese food”. He laughed for about 30 seconds and then offered me the job.

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Ah says

this is one is the best !!!

“I am a wedge with a sponge taped to it. My purpose is to wedge myself into someone’s door to absorb as much as possible.”

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as says

hilarious

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WIZZ blogt » Blog Archive » 150 grappige cv fouten says

[…] http://jobmob.co.il/blog/funniest-resume-mistakes/ […]

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James says

This just get funnier and funnier. One an HR friend shared with me:

“Yesterday I couldn’t spell executive. Today I are one.”

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I’m CaLendarW Blog » Blog Archive » Today Finding says

[…] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever Haha~~ it’s funny […]

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3 Crucial Things That School Never Taught You | says

[…] Jacob Share created JobMob to bring together job seekers and jobfinders to find jobs in Israel and all over the world. The blog is filled with straight-talking advice based on real world experience and lots of humor thrown in, so you should subscribe now to JobMob via RSS or email if you’re looking for a better job or just want to laugh about it with articles like the 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever. […]

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21 Digg.com Funny Resume Horror Stories | JobMob says

[…] social bookmarking site with users (”diggers”) known for their funny comments. When the 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever became popular on Digg, many diggers had a lot of funny resume stories to […]

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Barry says

I was hiring high school teachers when I encountered a resume that included “torturing middle school students” in its experience section. She got the job.

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Something sad, something funny | Nerd Guru says

[…] those of us that are Digg challenged to a hilarious post over at JobMob entitled “150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers, and Blunders Ever“.  Aside from invoking my favorite Homer Simpson image (”insert brain here”), it […]

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Something sad, something funny | Nerd Guru says

[…] those of us that are Digg challenged to a hilarious post over at JobMob entitled “150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers, and Blunders Ever“.  Aside from invoking my favorite Homer Simpson image (”insert brain here”), it […]

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ErrHuman says

Before you laugh your coyote’s off, we are all human. Look at our president.

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Casey says

Okay I just got this one and had to post:

This was the subject line of the email…
[NAME DELETED] Resuem for Technical Writer

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150 cosas que no se deben escribir en un Currículum Vitae - The Code Keeper says

[…] Hola a todos,Ahora que estoy en proceso de buscar nuevos horizontes, mis compañeros me enviaron un website sobre 150 cosas que no se deben escribir.La página está en inglés, y es:http://jobmob.co.il/blog/funniest-resume-mistakes/No-ta-ble.Saludos! […]

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Funny Unemployed Job Seeker’s To Do List | JobMob says

[…] If you liked this, you’ll love the 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever. […]

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Calinadas em Curriculum Vitae « O Vigia says

[…] Calinadas em Curriculum Vitae Publicado em Outubro 26, 2008 por ovigia The Job Mob’s Resume Mistakes Page […]

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make extra money online says

Great post. My favorite is number 24, repeating courses again again.

I once said during an interview that I always double check and triple check all of my calculations. I heard later on that I almost didn’t get the job because of that one statement.

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11 Most Interesting Pre-Launch Group Writing Project Logos } Group Writing Projects says

[…] This well-designed logo definitely had a hand in the success of Luciano Passuelo’s Lists group writing project over on Litemind. The notepad ties in perfectly with the theme, the image has matching colors, the name of the group writing project is easy to read. I participated in this gwp with 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever. […]

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Resume Bloopers - Or, “I’m Sure Glad That’s Not on MY Resume!” says

[…] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever […]

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Blogging Tips says

One of my friends went in for a job interview. They asked him why he wanted the job. He said, “I need money.”

hahaha. Well, at least he was honest lol.

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Barry says

Interviewer: Do you ever get angry with co-workers?Interviewee: I don’t get angry, I get even.

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39 Best Job Search Tip Articles of 2008 | JobMob says

[…] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever […]

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april_prior (April Prior) says

Need a Wednesday laugh break? 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes at http://tinyurl.com/69gkjz

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JHirz (Jeff Hirz) says

hysterical! RT @april_prior Need a Wednesday laugh break? 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes at http://tinyurl.com/69gkjz

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Resume Bloopers - Or, “I’m Sure Glad That’s Not on MY Resume!” | collegebear.com says

[…] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever […]

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Writing Humor: And You Thought YOUR Resume Was Bad… — Inkthinker says

[…] — Yesterday I stumbled across a hilarious list of 150 resume mistakes, bloopers, and blunders that had me laughing out loud. How funny are they? Well, let’s put it this way: “I am a […]

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lady mira says

sorry bt can u pls tell me what’s wrong abt hell resume # 2?? cz i ddn’t get ur point… PLSSS.. & if i send u mine, will u correct it??

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Jacob Share says

lady mira- it’s just the image of a stewardess in a fighter jet. It would be just as funny if it said “Steward – Royal Air Force”. About your question- if you’re a JobMob subscriber and send me your resume, I will give you some free tips on how to improve it. There are instructions on how to send it to me here.

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Vaya curriculum | Un hombre solo en la Red says

[…] estos fallos son reales como la vida misma. Podéis ver algunos más en online, hasta 150 en el artículo original (en inglés) y también en esta entrada que le dediqué hace casi un año a este mismo […]

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150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever | Career Fire says

[…] for visiting!Need a break this weekend from your usual job search routine? Check out the “150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever.” And please, have multiple people proofread your resume! Share and […]

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Linda Duffy says

I have two favorites from my personal experience: (1) man in his forties wrote on his resume “Just completed an early midlife crisis and am anxious to reenter the workforce.”
(2) woman wrote that her last employer was Pitney Bowels. Hhmmm…wonder if that had anything to do with her departure from the company!

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ManiKarthik (Mani Karthik) says

150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever ( super cool ) http://tinyurl.com/69gkjz

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marcjohnson (Marc Johnson) says

@rowan_m Don’t put any of these in your CV: RT @beanma: 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever http://tinyurl.com/69gkjz

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Job Search Links - 04/13/09 | CompletE-Résumé says

[…] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever […]

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careernews (Career News) says

150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever | JobMob http://tinyurl.com/69gkjz (via @TweetMeme)

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BeverleyN (Beverley Neil) says

Resume bloopers that will make you cry – either laughing or in sympathy http://tinyurl.com/69gkjz

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BodoHL says

Hard to believe what many people write in the application. Very great work of this article. Thanks for the list.

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Finding the Right Job Takes Time « Candice Bemish says

[…] http://jobmob.co.il/blog/funniest-resume-mistakes/ Unemployed To Do List And for the record, this isn’t my to do list. Mine would have included snapping a picture of the pastries at The Coffee Shop to post to my blog! […]

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Review Your Resume - Avoid Bloopers : Bizzia - Business News and Commentary - Finance and Business Tips says

[…] giving it to anyone. There are a variety of mistakes people make when developing their resume. One blooper may be enough to move your resume from the interview pile to the circular file. Check out a few […]

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BoMoh (BoMoh) says

@LisaMThomas lol these are awesome! Thanks! RT @LisaMThomas http://tinyurl.com/69gkjz “Candidate included a letter from his mother.”

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infosecjobsuk (Infosec Jobs) says

Funny resume blunders http://bit.ly/2592cp I like ?career on the Information Supper Highway? (via @TwitJobSearch)

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Resume Blunders You Have to Avoid, Really, Avoid Them! « ResumesStartHere.Com | Free Online Resume Builder says

[…] has the whole shebang of the 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers, and Blunders Ever just to brighten up your day while you sort out your resumes if you are a recruiter or thinking of […]

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readrightresume (EJ) says

At least you didn’t make any of these resume errors: http://tinyurl.com/69gkjz. My favorite: “Finished eighth in my class of ten.?”

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Ki says

Those are pretty good. I love the

Experience: “Stalking, shipping & receiving”

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Client Activity Idea: Resume Keywords | The WorkNET says

[…] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes […]

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mental_floss Blog » Morning Cup of Links: Funny Resume Bloopers says

[…] Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever! The best argument for proofreading I’ve seen anywhere, although […]

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John says

Nice collection really funny.

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How Not To Write A Resume « Virgin Mobile Canada says Screw You Recession! says

[…] found a list of the ‘150 funniest resume mistakes’. When reading it, you will quickly learn that not proofreading your resume will keep you […]

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story2paint (Ursula Andrejczuk) says

Marital status: often. Children: various RT @jacobshare 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes… http://tinyurl.com/69gkjz

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Unemployment Rate Drop for First Time in 15 Months | Blippitt says

[…] great news, folks! Hey, that means that even THESE people might be able to get a […]

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Résumé Writing Tips – Double Check For Spelling #2 « The Résumé of Dave B. says

[…] also worth your time to check out the rest of these hilarious entries. You can view them all here. Tagged with: Cover Letters, First Impressions, How to find work, How to Network, Human […]

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vidhi82 (Vidhi Ahuja) says

From a Resume: Hobbies: “enjoy cooking Chinese and Italians” ROFL!! http://bit.ly/2592cp

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stompr (Rick Stomphorst) says

Funny resume mistakes. http://tinyurl.com/69gkjz #jobsearch

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Larissa Davis says

I loed some of the blooper..I liked the one cleans bathrooms and seats people. I don’t want a job like that.

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Julie Decker says

Asking Ainnie
Number 4 Hobbies getting drunk every night down by the water,playing my guitar and smoking illrgal drug’s.

I just couldn’t belive someone would put that on a resume the though of it is silly.

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16 Item Recess for Word Nerds « talentive says

[…] List of funny (or pathetic) resume errors and typos. I think I have a degree in unclear physics, […]

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Rob says

“finished 8 out of 10” classic, ha!

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Help! Make my CV stand out (for the right reasons!) « Vic Careers says

[…] jobmob.co.il/blog/funniest-resume-mistakes Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)Making profit from user-generated contentYou’ve Got Good Content — But How Are You Presenting It? […]

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Pardeep says

“Languages: “Speak English and Spinach.” I thought this one was the best, i couldn’t help but laugh the whole time.

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goncalol (Goncalo Leonard) says

funny quote in resume: Salary requirements: “The higher the better.” check + here http://tinyurl.com/69gkjz

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RitaRecruiter (Rita T. Recruiter) says

Funny resume blunder – “Career break in 1999 to renovate my horse” http://bit.ly/2592cp #resume #career #job

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THE RESUME—PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER | Jill MacFadyen's Career Coach Blog says

[…] Read more at: http://jobmob.co.il/blog/funniest-resume-mistakes/#ixzz0YGOtn621 […]

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Matt says

Oh this is too funny! First rule, proof read!!

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TEXT VERSION OF YOUR RESUME | Jill MacFadyen's Career Coach Blog says

[…] Experience: “Child care provider: Organized activities; prepared lunches and snakes.”   Read more at: http://jobmob.co.il/blog/funniest-resume-mistakes/#ixzz0YGOtn621 […]

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Duncan says

Some of those are absolutely brilliant. When is the book coming out?

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Jacob Share says

Duncan- you’re right. I should look into making a book of these. Thanks for the suggestion.

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dany says

2# “1990 – 1997: Stewardess – Royal Air Force” is not to bad, she just made the mistake of translating the companies name (
never a good idea) But she’s just saying that she worked for KLM.

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Res you may « Word Forward says

[…] a professional resume writer, at least consider getting it proofread. Some of the entries in the 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes have clearly been written by someone with a sense of humour. Others are simply odd but many have […]

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Resume Advice: What Not To Do « Rita The Recruiter's Blog says

[…] 150 Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever […]

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150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers, and Blunders Ever | Business Communication says

[…] View the original here. Share and Enjoy: […]

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Resume Blunders « The Career Spectrum Blog says

[…] neat web site was brought to my attention that I just had to share. It’s a blog post entitled 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever — it’s definitely worth a […]

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Craig P. Gill, Founder/CEO CPG & Associates says

As the Founder/CEO of a reputable Web Design and Internet Marketing Agency, I browse articles related to various business verticals frequently.This was a very interesting read. I enjoyed it very much…. Well done!

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Jenn says

Hysterical! I love to read funny things like this…can’t believe what some people put on their resumes. Yikes! That is quite a long time to mourn the loss of a cat!
.-= Jenn´s last blog ..About Jenn Spencer, blog author and Chandler, her cat! =-.

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Funniest Resume Mistakes | Gradversity says

[…] 25th, 2010 | Author: Trevor Wilson Here’s a little humor to brighten your day. The 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever should provide a much needed […]

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Resume Faux paz’… Faux pas? « NieBlog says

[…] Other sources: Resumes-Funniest-Mistakes […]

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Ron says

In a resume for an entry level attorney job: “Intern with the pubic defender’s office.”

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francesca says

I do not speak English, but i enjoyed a lot . ha,ha…

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Video | Resumebear says

[…] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever […]

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Attenzione quando scrivete il vostro Curriculum Vitae!!! « Chiedilo ad Amrinder says

[…] http://jobmob.co.il/blog/funniest-resume-mistakes/ […]

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More on the resume topic « RobynRand's Blog says

[…] or updating your resume. After reading this you will want to check over it just one more time. http://jobmob.co.il/blog/funniest-resume-mistakes/   Leave a […]

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Carol says

“Detail orientated” (so many people say “orientated” instead of “oriented”, but I usually never do). What a brain fart (or cosmic intervention).

I put that in a resume once (way back when before computers were big, hair WAS big, and long before I learned Prof. Harmon’s rule on “marinating” your writing before re-checking. I wondered why out of 13 interviews only 12 gave me an offer until I re-read this one. Then again, the job was 100+ stories up at the World Trade Center so…

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monika says

🙂
Very funny..
One should learn from others mistakes.

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Carol Ryder says

Funny mistake (VERY common one the even best writers make) I did in class I can laugh about now-the misuse of the possessive “their” when the subject of the sentence is singular. Now, this blunder annoys the crap out of me because a Prof (whose class I CALI’d but assumed I failed just before graduation), great guy, learned a lot but scary in class, stopped me in the middle of me even though I was answering a very concept no one else in the class could grasp well, I was called on a lot more than anyone else (even after I raised my hand a lot). He asked “…do I have the right to proper Eng in my class…I answered yes…then he said that I misued this twice in a couple of minuts and had to stop me. He corrected me on a VERY common mistake I have read/heard USSC judges, esteemed writers, etc. use -misue of the possessive “their”. If the subject is singular so is the possessive. Example “It is the father’s responsibility to their…therefore it is their right whether to…” No-“father” (subject) is singlular. If you have to, re-write the sentence to avoid the awkward he or she and do NOT write “their” there. You should have seen me turn beet red, sweat…Now it annoys me more than “He don’t have no money”, “I could care less” (instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less” or using “myself” to try and soound “fancy” (“Dancing with myself” “Playing with myself”- all proper english (and not that there is anything wrong with that) BUT “It was just my client and myself in the room”-NOT OK.

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    Jacob Share says

    Carol Ryder- thanks for sharing. Funny story and we learned something from it. Nice.

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Win over the Gatekeeper with your Resume « GoMarket.me says

[…] So there you have it, the do’s for writing your resume. Happy resume writing, GoMarket yourself, and hopefully you’ll never make it on this list: 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever. […]

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Laura Murchison says

Resume blunders can be devastating and in reality causes a loss of income that could have been avoided. It’s better to learn from other’s mistakes than create your own.

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mbeavitt says

funny!

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The Internet’s Best Resume Preparation Sites « says

[…] with his resume, a letter of recommendation from his mom. See the hilarity for yourself at http://jobmob.co.il/blog/funniest-resume-mistakes […]

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» Resume tip: learn from others’ mistakes says

[…] received a tweet from someone sharing a humorous listing from the website JobMob called 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever. Having seen many of these myself, I enjoy reading similar lists for a quick chuckle. But I […]

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Lesley Dorin says

Hi, I am having difficulties loading your post. Just more or less 50 percent of this post appears to load, and the remaining is just blank. I am not really certain why…. but you may want to take a look. I’ll check back later on, this could be just a temporary server error.

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Some of the Funniest Resume Bloopers I’ve Ever Seen | Executive Resume Branding says

[…] Jobmob has put together a list of 150 ridiculous mistakes that job seekers make on their resumes, cover letters, and applications, culled from various sources. […]

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More of the Funniest Resume Blunders and Bloopers | Executive Resume Branding says

[…] a little levity was in order to lighten our spirits in these unsettling times. So I went back to JobMob’s 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever, and grabbed a few more from Jacob Share’s […]

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Resume Mistakes: They’re only funny to the person who didn’t hire you « Christa Allan says

[…] night, I tripped across this site, 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes.  Are they funny? Yes, depending on which side of the resume you happen to be on. What’s not […]

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K says

I work at an animal hospital. The best one I ever received was from a gentlemen that wrote under experience.
“I worked with hores. I gave them shots and trained them”

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Resume Typos – Article by Barbara Safani | Kathleen Heck's Joke Blog says

[…] was put in the “no” pile. Here are some of my favorite resume bloopers I found via Job Mob, Resume Hell, and Zimbio. Obviously spell-check isn’t all it’s cracked up to […]

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Charles Martey says

I was at an interview which had my ex as the interviewer…well we didnt talk about the job..we talked about old times..and I told her because of our past relationship I wouldnt feel good taking up the job..so I declined it..but we re-connected..and I’m still with her..I got a job shortly afterwards too..Interesting world we live in

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مدونة م » Blog Archive » من هنا وهناك 28 says

[…] مئة وخمسون خطأ مضحكة في السير الذاتية. […]

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Resume Mistakes That Keep You Jobless : Kevin Trudeau Show says

[…] was put in the “no” pile. Here are some of my favorite resume bloopers I found via Job Mob, Resume Hell, and Zimbio. Obviously spell-check isn’t all it’s cracked up to […]

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Barfo Rama says

“I finished ninth in my class of nine.” What I’d like to hear from Sotomayor.

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Patrick says

A resume blooper from old days as a manager… “sorted and disturbed all incoming mail.”

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FOR ResumE’s: DONT’S « RAJARAO PAGIDIPALLI says

[…] Read more at: http://jobmob.co.il/blog/funniest-resume-mistakes/#ixzz0yleMRsSt […]

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the man says

i was just on a network computer at my appt building and just found this very funny

Zachary Knorr
1100 Philadelphia Ave.
Gilbertsville, PA 19525
Pretty much in Zerns
Hence Job!
(610)-209-0220
OBJECTIVE
Seeking challenges that test my mind and body, since the two are usually inseparable. My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try the flooring field. I am trying for a entry level position? Maybe even laborer but I’m not crazy about working to hard and it really chaps my ass. My primary goal is to be recognized and have my skills and ethics challenged on a daily basis. Objective: I want a base salary of $50-$60,000 dollars, not including bonus. And some decent benefits. Like a retirement plan, health insurance, personal or sick days. I get sick a lot.

Why you’re holding the resume of a truly outstanding candidate:
Previous experience: Self employed …a fiasco.

• My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and with my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable.
• Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory; effective management skills and very good at math.
• Transformed “difficult” customers into “irate” customers. It’s best for employers if I don’t work with people.
• I’ve had exposure to the Germans for two years, but many words are inappropriate for business.
• I am a pit-bull when it comes to analysis.
• Reason for leaving last job, The owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia. I prefer to elaborate privately.
• My ruthlessness terrorized the competition and can sometimes offend.
PERSONAL GOAL
• To hand build a classic cottage from the ground up using my ex father-in-law.
PERSONAL ACHIEVEMENTS
• Successfully played “Chop Sticks” on a toy piano with my big toes.
EDUCATION: Graduated top 66% of my class.
AFFILIATIONS
10/2003-present: Textsfromlastnight.com
1/2001-1/2002: Match.com (Don’t Judge me)
SPECIAL SKILLS
• Thyping
• Speak English
• Getting rid of unruly clients
• Experienced with transforming numerous office machines into things such as a coffee maker and can I make great lattes!
• I’ve got a Ph.D. in human feelings
• Operated Pitney Bones machine
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION
I vow to fulfill the goals of the company as long as I live. You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time. Looking for an employer that believes in prompting from within.

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La caja caótica » Lo que nunca debes poner en un currículum. says

[…] : 1 // […]

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PBYP - Pause Before You Post (13) | eBranding.Me says

[…] these well-educated students need to Pause before they post. See a full list of 150 Resume Mistakes here, or read 5 that the eBranding Me team chose to share below. […]

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Resume Mistakes « The Litter Box says

[…] at my resume, I did a little searching for tips and advice, and found this list of JobMob’s 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes. These are from actual resumes, and include such gems […]

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For a Good Laugh… | MyTimePartTime.com says

[…] a Good Laugh… Click here to read the 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever on […]

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chinatl says

Yes, mushroom hunting is a real thing, but it still belongs on this list. The lesson here is if you have anything on your resume that’s not COMPLETELY common knowledge within the given industry, rephrase it, explain it, or remove it!

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Dana says

I just had one where the applicant referred to himself in the 3rd person throughout out the resume. Quite surreal.

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kaylie says

i luv tha’ simsons!

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150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever | Credit Cardology says

[…] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever | JobMob. […]

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Top 10 Resume & Cover Letter Mistakes to Avoid says

[…] about your hobbies and outside interests.For more examples of mistakes to avoid, check out these funny resume errors and bloopers.Final WordA competitive job market means that first impressions matter, and you must avoid mistakes […]

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Oneupweb : Creating a Killer Cover Letter | Oneupweb : StraightUpSearch Blog says

[…] errors but proofreading can save you from ours of embarrassment. Get it? Double check for silly mistakes that can rule you out immediately such as addressing the letter to a different company, like I […]

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Willow Smith says

I lulzed.

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Resume Writing & Speed Equal Disaster: 4 Tips on Taking It Slow | says

[…] can spend hours reading examples of resume blunders on the Internet. Besides being entertaining, they also serve as a warning to the […]

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Marcel says

”Career break in 1999 to renovate my horse”

Love this LOL

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shnitzi says

”Career break in 1999 to renovate my horse”

Love this LOL

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Jazzy says

Hilarious post, the crazy answers must keep the HR managers from falling asleep!

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Daitwice says

Can’t see what’s wrong with “1990 – 1997: Stewardess – Royal Air Force”. The job exists in the UK and could involve stewarding for many senior personnel including the monarch or Prime Minister. There must be similar positions in the US Air Force on board Air Force One etc.

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5 Ways to Breathe Life Into Your Dying Resume says

[…] a resume can be downright hilarious at times.  Or, it can be pretty […]

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Funny Resume Mistakes (And How To Avoid Them) | Aardvark Writing says

[…] the job opportunity, you may also end up on a list of funny resume mistakes, such as this one on  JobMob. Here are a few of my favorite funny resume errors from the […]

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Ugly Job Search – Horror Stories – Grim but True - CollegeRecruiter.com says

[…] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever […]

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Suspicious deep insights by beauty in Star column « uppercaise says

[…] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever   […]

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The Star Columnist Dawn Jeremiah With More Allegations Of Plagiarism | Happenings In Malaysia says

[…] Scraped bits either from “WOW Guide Blog” (January 14, 2011) or 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever“. […]

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Andrew H says

These are fantastic. This was my favorite: Other Interests: “Playing with my two dogs (They actually belong to my wife but I love the dogs more than my wife)”. I know how that guy feels!

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Ugly Job Search - Horror Stories - Grim but True | CareerAlley says

[…] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever […]

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150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever | JobMob | wayne gooden says

[…] via 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever | JobMob. […]

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Jobberman Insider | 50 Funny But True Resume Mistakes You Want to Avoid. says

[…] Read more funny resume bloopers on JobMob […]

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New Career – Salvage your CV and land the job. says

[…] seem like painfully obvious ‘don’ts’ when it comes to compiling your CV but they are real examples of what people have included in their application for a position. Their blunders were then shared […]

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150 Funniest CV mistakes, bloopers and blunders ever | Visual Languages says

[…] Full article. […]

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Kate B says

I laughed so hard, tears came out, but bad spelling always makes me cry.

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Os 30 erros mais incríveis em CVs | Alerta Emprego says

[…] Business Insider JobMob Forbes […]

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LOOK BACK: 20 Best JobMob Articles of 2013 | JobMob says

[…] 9) 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever […]

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Resume Strategies That Work - Career Intelligence says

[…] doesn’t catch everything. You don’t want your prospective employer to read about how you, “revolved customer problems and inquiries” instead of resolving […]

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150 More Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever | JobMob says

[…] READ NEXT: Our original classic, 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever […]

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Best Candidates+Worst Resumes=No Interviews « Toronto Resume Writing Service | ResumeToronto.ca says

[…] Here are a few examples from Job Mob. […]

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Résumés- The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly | Amanda Stromberg's Online Portfolio says

[…] hopefully these résumé’s, bloopers, and these  have scared you into the proper way to write a résumé cover […]

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Resume Blooper | Joe's BST 10 Blog says

[…] on your resume, but there are also many things you don’t want on it. Here are a few “mishaps” I […]

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7 Fatal Resume Errors – CareerAlley says

[…] take a look at 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever.  Funny stuff and worth a […]

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The Worst Resume Mistakes You Can Make - JobMonkey Blog says

[…] Hobbies: “getting drunk everynight down by the water, playing my guitar and smoking pot” (JobMob) […]

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Your Resume & The Final Four | jskiwrite says

[…] 4. The Typo. I’ve seen it all. From “pubic” relations to operations “manger,” an embarrassing typo will not only disqualify you from contention but could land you on a list like this. […]

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Freshers – Getting to your first job interview! | arrowebs says

[…] how your resume should be, let’s have a look to this list of funny errors employers shared from some of the resume they receive. There are a lot more examples of resume disasters. But instead, let’s talk about […]

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Renee says

Just the other day, I looked over a resume that said “Referees available upon request.”

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9 Things You Should Never Write On Your CV says

[…] useful nuggets that will improve your CV. For more hilarious examples of what not to include follow this […]

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Common Job Application Mistakes to Avoid says

[…] Here are a few of our favourite funny resume bloopers, courtesy of the JobMob blog. […]

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Jonathan says

Where’s the problem in leaving 911 (or whatever number it is for your countries emergency services?) “Oh yes, I’ve broke my leg!” … “Do you want an ambulance?” … “No, just call my Aunty!” 🙂 Oh hell no!

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📨 Top Reasons You Need a Job Search Email | JobMob says

[…] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever, all based on true stories, “a candidate listed her e-mail address as […]

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How to Write a Resume: 7 Mistakes You REALLY Don’t Want to Make says

[…] problem? This gaffe shared by JobMob: “Experience: ‘Child care provider: organized activities; prepared lunches and snakes.” […]

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