You're not alone because many others think of it, and you're not alone because many others will help you avoid it.
This is something I've meant to blog about for a while.
I wasn't sure it would come across properly, but if this helps even one job seeker considering suicide, it's worth it. I regret not having done it sooner.
Back in 2006, after my previous employer decided to outsource my entire team's work, I was living in Paris, France, and trying to find a job in Israel when I had the idea to start JobMob as a way to learn about blogging by blogging about that job search.
I did ultimately find a job in Israel and we moved from Paris in 2007, but I kept blogging because I discovered that I really enjoyed helping other job seekers like you.
There were also more selfish reasons.
Among them, I thought that by learning more about job search as I blogged, I could protect myself from ever feeling job search depression again like I had back in 2002.
Free bonus: Download The Job Search Depression Report which contains insights and resources on how to manage if you're too depressed to look for work.
Looking back at it now, my job search depression was relatively light compared to so many stories I've seen since then, but that rough period of life really surprised me and made me realize that your career is no joke and your life can literally depend on it.
I never considered suicide. However, the tough time brought back memories of two cute little boys I used to babysit as a teenager. They lived in a nice neighborhood, in a nice house, and their parents had nice cars who would go out often and to good restaurants around town.
All until their father was let go from his white collar job. This led to a noticeable change in the house, even in the eyes of a soon-to-be former babysitter.
Then one busy morning during rush hour, the father walked in front of a subway train.
I was reminded of this story again when a JobMob reader emailed me for advice, saying:
My situation stinks and I have contemplated suicide. I often find myself alone and depressed with no optimism for my future. I feel like a wounded soldier in battle who has been left to die in the trenches, after broken promises.
Absolutely heart-wrenching.
And not uncommon. Many job seekers reach this low point:
- Been almost 2 years without a job, honestly considering suicide at this point
- Can't get a job, feeling hopeless
- Joblessness And Hopelessness: The Link Between Unemployment And Suicide
And many, many job seekers go all the way with it:
Unemployment over the period 2000 to 2011 was responsible for 45,000 [deaths], an analysis in the journal Lancet Psychiatry has found.
The authors say their findings suggest that suicide prevention strategies need to target those who lose their jobs even in countries unaffected by recession. They found the suicide risk among the unemployed was stronger where more people were in work and the situation of the jobless was therefore more unusual.
My response to the JobMob reader began this way:
Please don't commit suicide! It's a permanent solution to a short-term problem*, and I'm not glossing over it: I've been depressed myself and I know that it feels like âthis is the way my life is nowâ. It's not. Seek help. At the very least, call a national suicide hotline asap
(* a line I've heard Philip DeFranco say)
If you're feeling this down or know someone who is, please, PLEASE, follow this advice.
Here's a list that should help.
Suicide prevention hotlines around the world
đŠđș Australia
Call: 13 11 14 or 1300 659 467
đšđŠ Canada
Call: 1-833-456-4566
đźđł India
Call: 78930 78930
đźđ± Israel
ERAN (I've blogged about them in the past)
Call: 1201
đ”đ Philippines
Call: (02) 804-HOPE (4673) or 0917 558 HOPE (4673)
đżđŠ South Africa
Call: 0861 322 322
đŹđ§ UK
Call: 116 123 (UK) or 116 123 (ROI)
đșđž USA
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
What others are saying
- 9 Ways to Dispel Thoughts of Suicide During a Job Search
- How Employment Agents Push the Unemployed to Suicide: A True Story
- Suicide and the Unemployed
Question of the article
What would you have said to the JobMob reader thinking of suicide, in my place? Tell us in the comments.
Unemployment Rant â Can't find a job ANYWHERE doing ANYTHING since 2009!!! (STILL jobless into 2014) [he found a job in 2015]
Subscribe to JobMob via email and follow me on Twitter for more lifesaving job search help.
Thanks to the link to my blog article. I just linked this one back. âKurt Kirton
Cool đ
Nice to meet you, Kurt
This article is pointless. You call the hotline, they attempt to hospital you, and then they sattle you with 3k in hospital bills for âsaving your Life.â All while humiliating you. Iâve learned the hard way. If you want to die, you tell no one. You just one day disappear from everyoneâs lives and hope they forgive you for your choice.
That sounds horrible, adding insult to injury, and Iâm sorry you had to go through it.
Itâs no help for you, but for countries with public health care such as Canada or the UK, it may be the same process and result except for the hospital bills at the end.
I agree. For many, the suicide hotlines donât solve the problems driving them to suicide. If someone is suicidal because theyâre unemployed, theyâve run out of money (burned through their savings trying to stay alive while seeking work), are about to face homelessness, maybe theyâre older and theyâre facing one of the last unofficially sanctioned discriminationsâageismâŠ, the last thing they need is forced hospitalization (which is an independent risk factor FOR suicide) that comes with a giant bill they canât afford. Meanwhile, they get out of involuntary commitment only to face the same problems of no job, no money, and possibly now no home. But itâs FAR easier to throw a suicide hotline number at someone than to solve the systematic problems research has consistently revealed precipitate depression and suicide. (Not a slight against this blogâs author, but instead a general societal criticism.)
Google suicide hotlinesâ effectiveness and youâll read many reports by callers who argue the hotlines were either no help OR made things worse.
That sounds terrible, taking advantage of someone while theyâre already down.
I havenât tested any of the organizations mentioned but I did speak to people at ERAN here in Israel back when I blogged about them, and the word âhospitalizationâ didnât even come up. Then again, suicide prevention is only one aspect of what they do.
Just let them die. Provide painless death for us & please stop preventing us from commiting suicide. Are you going support them with money? No. The suicide hotline is obviously useless, their main problem is money. Are they going give them a job? No. Are you going tell them to live in wilderness and teach them hunting to survive? The solution is so simple yet impossible to acheive. Just let us die please stop preventing us from taking our own life.
Iâm about at this point. I just left the paper business as a reporter because I was making 12 an hour in an awful town with no room for growth. I couldnât afford insurance or my student loans. Iâve been unemployed since May save for a part time internship that canât hire me full time and a late night job as a bouncer for 10 an hour. I have a bachelorâs degree. Iâve applied nearly 300 plus places in all sorts of fields and still nothing. I canât even get a job in town splitting firewood. I just called a crisis hotline because Iâm seriously considering blowing my brains out. Iâm only 24, but it feels like itâs already over. How am I supposed to get anywhere if I canât even get my foot in the door? The only thing that stops me is the thought if my familyâs pain, but Iâm starting to think that theyâre better off with me gone.
They wonât be better off! Theyâll miss you for the rest of their lives, and theyâll blame themselves for not doing more to help you in your time of need. Many, many people go through such hardships but only a few have the courage to speak out about it, which is a first step. Good for you!
You have skills that employers need. Itâs just a question of finding the right employer and having enough confidence that theyâll take a chance on you.
Look back on your successes. How did you get that job as a reporter? Compile a work portfolio of your best work. Among other things, reporters need to be skilled in research and communications, written or otherwise. Just having those two skills qualifies you for many kinds of jobs you can find online, such as being a virtual assistant, content writer, researcher and more. So many companies are trying to get newspapers and websites to talk about them (PR) but have no idea how to approach those sites, maybe you could advise them. And thereâs nothing from stopping you from doing all of the above from the comfort of your laptop or even smartphone. Gauge demand by calling around town and checking local job boards, and focus by starting where thereâs the most demand.
You can do this! đŻ
I am planning on suicide. I have a 9mm pistol with 1 bullet for my head loaded and its sitting on my nightstand. umemployed almost 2 months, canât take this and losing it. I plan to blow my skull in pieces
Please seek help via one of the phone numbers listed above. You need someone to talk to.
Sorry in advance for the long post. I want to share my story because I know there are MANY others out there like me but who are too ashamed or defeated to share.
I thought Iâd done all the right things. I worked very hard for three Ivy League science degrees. Before finishing my last program, I became the caretaker of a dying single parent. To fill that role even after finishing a PhD, I accepted low pay no-advancement positions that allowed me the luxury of being my motherâs caretaker while providing us a home. Once my mother died, it was as if I were a high school delinquent and drop-out. I couldnât get anything besides near-minimum wage gigs despite applying EVERYWHERE.
I opened my own business and worked 70+ hours/week for a decade. Then the competition of cheap online business (providing more âaffordableâ services than what I as a solo-practitioner could) put me out of business. Iâd been applying for regular work for the final two years of my small business and gotten nowhere. I was in my late 30âs by then. So I invested the (too) little money Iâd saved in a business with a partner. I hired attorneys to draw up the appropriate contracts and make an official company registered with the state and federal governments. Less than a year in, my business partner defrauded me and the company of MY entire lifeâs savings. Despite the accounting, banking, and legal evidence I had, my state attorney general office told me they didnât care and wouldnât pursue matters criminally. I won a civil case but, of course, had no way to collect from someone who just evaded me and refused even to show up in court. But the IRS still demanded I pay BOTH the full share of business taxes despite my having been defrauded of the entire business.
Now, a few years later, Iâve run out of my savings. I have about $300 left in the bank. I have no kids and am a single guy. The state, therefore, deems me ineligible for aid. And since Iâm nearing 50, no placeâNOWHEREâwants to hire me. Iâve even applied to min-wage medical technician positions advertised as âentry level.â Iâve applied for personal care assistant posts. Nada. Iâm happy to retrain in a trade⊠but the cost of surviving WHILE I retrain, even if I could somehow get a loan for the training education, is prohibitive.
Itâs infuriating reading the platitudes and unhelpful âget helpâ or âdo Xâ comments in replyâthings Iâve likely already tried dozens of times. I am not alone in my situation. Iâve published statistical reports on growing unemployment among US PhD science, engineering, computer tech grads. The data is out there that argues very strongly what the causes behind much of suicide are, but no one with the power to make changes cares. Yet we pretend to care about suicide, despite not effectively addressing many of the statistical drivers of suicide. Talk is cheap.
Iâve been unsuccessfully trying to get a state job. The bureaucracy is unbelievable. Bid forms. Multiple applications for each availability in each different city. Instructions to use online application systems the state itself admits are broken but refuses to fixâŠ
And Iâm too old now to get hired as an online language teacherâIâve tried, even spending $2K I canât afford for TEFL certification (in class, Chicago, IL). The right kind of face is more important than certification, teaching experience, and degrees. Company recruiters have themselves confirmed this. Nothing has panned out. Iâm at the end. If I cannot find a job before Christmas, I will have to commit suicide because I have no more resources. I donât need a hotline. I donât need fast, hollow advice. I need a job that provides a smidgen of security and enough cash to pay my bills.
Not many people can pull off three Ivy League science degrees, let alone one. You clearly have valuable skills that are needed and we just need to find you the right employer.
But first, in the immediate term, you need to survive and get a confidence boost.
Is there a family member, friend or somewhere you can live so that you can just focus on getting a job while having minimal costs to worry about?
Have you tried menial, part-time gigs such as via Wonolo or Taskrabbit as way to get some revenue while you continue to look for a career job?
YOU CAN DO THIS.
Iâm amazed by your good will, fighting to help anyone you can. I wish you the best
I appreciate your appreciation, Eli. Best to you as well
Look, I will say what no one else here seems to have the guts to say. Sometimes suicide really IS the solution. Iâm 10 years severely underemployed. I canât afford my insulin. Iâm going to die. I average 500 job applications per year. I occasionally get interviews that seem promising, but itâs really just a joke. I work FOUR jobs. I have ZERO benefits from any of them. If I miss a single day at any of my FOUR jobs, I canât pay basic necessities. So yeah, suicide IS the best option for me and it might be for you as well.
Kate,
I understand that youâre miserable, and Iâm sorry to hear it. I wish you had left a real email address so that I could reach out to you directly. If you see this reply, tell me how I can reach you.
You cant help us. The longer i m unemployed the more i cry when people says UBI cannot work, it will make people lazy. I donât understand why people can earn a high salary when there people who donât have a home or a job. Worst is when the jobless have no exprience. I am sure the people who earn 5 figure got there through hard work and they dun even want a pay cut. Sure hiher pay mean more difficulties. Yup the jobless are having simple and easy life.
im 57 years and had worked in the IT industry , lost my last fulltime job 21/2 years ago. I live in New york , since then Ive only been able to find short term contract jobs that only last 6 months tops. Now iâm unemployd again and going bat shit crazy .. i struggle not to commit suicide everday !
Hey MM,
Whatâs your main expertise in IT? How have you been looking for a job?
I am a dead man walking. Laid off in November, canât find a job though get interviews. Everyone wants to pay minimum wage for someone with 15 years of varied IT experience. Iâve done Linkedin, Iâve done indeed, Iâve done all of the online sites Iâve contacted all of my recruiting agents. Hell Iâve even applied for jobs paying half what I used to make. Much like Kate Iâm a type 1 diabetic. I have a 6 month supply of insulin and once that runs out I will die (miserably) within 2-3 months. I canât afford to go to walmart and use the old style insulin (that people who have not an effing clue in the differences know how they work.) Temp jobs will cut into my unemployment check with no promise of enough to pay my bills. Oh and my unemployment is about to run out so no idea how Iâll keep the lights and internet on so I can apply for more jobs.
âJust get a part time McDonaldâs jobâ BRILLIANT! WHY DIDNâT I THINK OF THAT? Except at minimum wage of 7.25 an hour I will have to work 170 hours a week to be able to pay even my minimum bills and thatâs not including the extra 4,000 a month Iâll need for my medical supplies. (Hint there are only 168 hours in a week.)
No one gives a shit, the people who want to help canât afford to help (and I donât blame them) but they are trying. Iâm going to be homeless at the end of the month and living out of the back of my s10 truck. People give wonderfilled lines of âoh talk to someone they will help youâ but in America since we are run by the pharmaceutical, medical, and insurance industries that would basically not be of any help. Iâve applied to several hundred jobs in multiple cities, Iâve talked to people and no one wants to hire a 42 year old IT guy âbecause heâs too old and doesnât know technology X.â Tell ya what kiddos Iâve forgotten more IT stuff than most of you kids will ever learn and I can learn new things if given the week itâd take to learn it.
âoh go and volunteer somewhere and networkâ except itâs been proven multiple times that networking doesnât really do much of anything. So why inflict myself with the social anxiety of going out and meeting people who wonât remember me when they sober up? Itâs bad enough to have to battle the social anxiety going to work daily and doing interviews regularly much less going to ânetworking partiesâ where people get drunk while I donât drink.
So whatâs the point again? I mean sure I can keep trying to find something to keep myself alive and hate my life or I can just call it a day and let someone else have the job they were going to get anyways?
Youâre in a tough spot, no question about it.
While volunteering and other kinds of networking are good ideas, in general, theyâre long-term plays. You need some immediate help. Unless you can volunteer a few hours weekly in a capacity that uses your most valuable work skills â which would makes sense to help rebuild your confidence â your focus should be on other things.
Your first priority absolutely should be your health (which should always be the case!) but a 6-month stock of insulin gives you some time⊠albeit not much.
Your second priority should be to find a way to lower your bills because itâs unrealistic to think that a full-time job will land in your lap tomorrow (recruitment processes take time) and a temp job doesnât make sense as you explained. Can you temporarily move in with a family member somewhere else in the country?
Next, take stock of your skills. Where in the country is there the most demand for people like you? Or, if you can work remotely, which industries around the world need people like you? You donât need to be an expert on the latest tech because most companies arenât using them anyway, and there are definitely employers out there who need people like you RIGHT NOW but donât know how to find you, so you need to help them.
Browse the top job boards to gauge demand and confirm which of skills are most valuable:
https://jobmob.co.il/blog/top-job-boards/
Donât send out hundreds of applications! It will just lead to more frustration. Instead, FOCUS. If you need an employer who can provide health insurance (for example), look for them. Only apply to places where the position has been open for a while (job boards will often show the posting date), they may be more desperate to hire. Use LinkedIn to get inspiration by searching for people with your most valuable skills and ask them how they found their jobs, especially if theyâre local or work & live in a place youâd be willing to move to.
Donât give up! You can do this.
Iâm tired. I am 57 and got laid off in May of 2015. I found a job a year later and got laid off again. Iâve maintained a few temp jobs, âgigs,â since then, have no health insurance, live in a relativeâs backyard shed, and sleep a few nights a week elsewhere in my car so I donât wear out my shed welcome. Iâve burned through all my savings, sold possessions, and Iâm tired. Too many years of âfollow your bliss,â âwhat color is your parachute,â âdo what you love,â and their opposite, âwork hard and save,â âget an education,â âbe versatile and job nimble,â âre-invent yourself,â were nothing but foolishness. There is no real purpose and itâs time to go soon. I wish I lived in a country that had euthanasia clinics for the uneeded people. Iâm tired.
It sounds exhausting, and itâs impressive how youâve pushed through and endured these past 5 years. Great mental toughness but I understand you, it can only go on for so long.
In the short-term, could you do one of those many delivery jobs that are opening up across the country right now? Thereâs certainly no shame in it, rather the opposite, like helping out a national war effort. At least you could then pay the bills and, with some income stability and renewed confidence, rethink what would the best career move next.
I was laid off from a six figure job in early February. No reason other than cost cutting. I am getting free lance work and I am on COBRA. However, every day is brutal. I am 63.6 and never thought Iâd have to fight and claw for money at this point.
On top of that, I tore up my quad tendon in a fall and needed surgery and rehab.
Now hereâs the thing. I have avout $2M in assets and will have SS if I want it now, and 2 pensions in 17 months. Everyone tells me I will do fine. But I donât believe them..I feel like I will lose everything. Mainly because my mother got a good amount of money from my dadâs will, blew threw it all and died broke with me (an only child) having to support her.
Iâve never been laid off, and I find it brutal from a financial and psychological standpoint. My girlfriend thinks I am irrational. I am sure I am. But I cant stop feeling this way.
Itâs the anxiety of uncertainty. It really can be brutal. It does sound like youâre better placed than most to weather the storm, but I know that hearing that isnât really helpful right now, similar to telling someone in mourning that âyouâll feel better in time.â It may be true, but itâs not what you need to hear. It also adds insult to injury when you feel that youâre not being taken seriously.
Of course, many people suffer from anxiety, and many start to suffer during tough times like COVID19, the 2008 financial crisis, etc. Have you dealt with it in the past?
At 22 I had a bachelorâs degree, masterâs degree, work experience, volunteer experience and a great work ethic with drive. One year later and Iâm still stuck in my minimum wage-paying retail job which I find soul-destroying. All I do in my spare time â even on my unpaid 30 minute breaks â is apply for jobs. I canât even get internships let alone anything else. No one ever gives proper feedback and I feel less and less worthy by the day, truly considering ending it all because I donât see the point in trying anymore.
First, stop applying for so many jobs.
Second: do you have a work portfolio? If not, go make one. Itâs a great confidence builder, and a great excuse to contact past employers for relevant information to include in the portfolio, while giving them a chance to mention any job leads without you having to beg for any. If you do have a work portfolio, review it and reach out to the people who were part of your past successes, to ask them for job leads or ideas about career directions you havenât considered.
Third: Research demand for your skillset, anywhere in the world, as right now most people are working remotely anyway.
Fourth: If you can find demand for your skills locally, start researching which companies youâd like to work for, and find 3-5.
Finally: apply to the companies on your shortlist, making your application as targeted as possible to them so they can feel through your words how excited you are to work with them. Everyone loves passion.
Good luck!
No not considering suicide. However, seriously, when I do eventually pass away, truly on my tombstone would like the following etched âAll Larry ever strove for, worked for in life, was a decent jobâ !
What was the best job youâve had? What would it take to get another one like it?
Horribly-written, pointless article. Thanks for nothing.
BEWARE:
(A) Youâre an middle-aged adult professional, long-term unemployed, financially ruined, facing age bias while trying to find ANY job, will never recover for retirement â and you canât afford to provide for your legal dependents.
(B) Youâre a college student with self esteem issues who âfeelsâ like people donât like you.
GUESS WHICH ONE THE SUICIDE HOTLINE IS EQUIPPED TO HANDLE?
IF YOU CALL THEM, BE AWARE OF THEIR LIMITATIONS.
They will talk to you like youâre imagining the worse when your problems are actually very real.
FIND A BACKUP SUPPORT GROUP OR CONTACT.
Iâm not to the point where I want to commit suicide but I have been thinking about it a lot lately. I keep getting passed over after interviews. I have the education and experience in my field but I cannot seem to convince anyone to give me a chance. I took a civil service exam for a job I was highly Wa year ago ranked 6 out of over 400 and there were 15 positions. I got an interview and thought I did well. I was on time, confident and the interviewers engaged me. I got the friendly thanks but no thanks email. I went back a few months later to see who they hired since itâs all public information and there was a list of new hires. I cross referenced that list with the civil service list and saw that people 100+ spots below me were hired. This is one of many examples of me being passed over. I feel that my lack of connections is what is hurting me. I am a veteran and college graduate. I know that single handedly doesnât entitle me to a good job but I hate that the only jobs I can get are oneâs I could have gotten with an 8th grade education. Iâll be 40 in May which is scary. I could probably still pass for early 30âs but I know that wonât last much longer. Iâm terrified that I will end up in a low paying job when I know Iâm worthy of much more. People always tell me how smart I am and inside I feel bad because I have nothing to show for it. II feel like I wasted my time and that do not have control over my life which at 39 almost 40 I definitely should. . All the dog and pony âwe hire veteransâ acts do not help. I only apply for jobs that I qualify for based on their requirements both basic and preferred.
Tyler,
So much in life is based on confidence, and everyone has issues with confidence from time to time, including the super-rich, the super-famous, the super-successful. JK Rowling was rejected 12 times for the first Harry Potter book, and years later after she was already the most successful living author in the world, she was rejected again for a book she tried to publish under a pen name.
Youâre luckier than others; you have many reasons to be confident that you can succeed too: youâre a vet and a college graduate, so clearly you have the mental toughness and skills to pull this off. Well then why arenât you? Confidence. You havenât reached this personal objective recently, and now your confidence is at a low point. Worse, as a job seeker itâs a double-whammy because youâre likely to project low self-confidence in the few job interviews you can get, which is possibly the least appealing impression to give a recruiter. No one wants to pity hire.
Fortunately, confidence can be built fairly quickly:
Start right now!
Keep your chin up, Tyler
Ha! Not sure I am at the suicide stageâŠyet. But I want to punch people who say, âitâs temporary. Keep your chin up. Donât give up.â Or, that I should be applying to places where I fit the culture, or where I have the right âmixâ of skills.
FIRST OF ALL. THAT PLACE SIMPLY DOES NOT EXIST. IT DOESNâT MATTER HOW MANY TESTS I TAKE, OR HOW GOOD I AM AT SOMETHING.
There is no place left on planet earth where I would be a âculture fit.â Thus, I am forced to apply to all these horrible places and be interviewed by all these Stepford Nazi Barbie types.
Recently, I took an âintermediateâ Excel test for the Robert Half Agency, and I am sure I did very badly despite the fact that I really do know a lot about Excel. However, the way the test is structured is that you have two tries to know exactly where on the menu something is located. In the real world, if I forgot, I would just hunt a little, or look it up.
Anyway, I probably flunked it even though about 60-70% of it was basic and easy. All I want is a part-time $#!+ job paying $20 bucks an hour to go with my other slightly better part-time job. But this is impossible. I am deemed stupid and I have been applying over and over and over since 2007. I have been rejected or ghosted by literally every company in New York City despite the fact that I consider myself to be smarter than at least 80% of the population.
Somewhere we decided that average, or above average people are to be denied a basic means of living and that every job can only be filled by the .0000001% cream of the crop or simply go unfilled.
I AM SO SICK OF IT I WANT TO SCREAM BLOODY MURDER. AT WHAT POINT TO I DECIDE IT IS NOT WORTH TRYING ANYMORE?