Funniest Rejection Letter Ever

The Funniest Rejection Letter Ever

The rejection rejection letter every job seeker needs to keep in their arsenal.

The Funniest Rejection Letter Ever

Photo by Gregg O'Connell

Thanks to the magic of StumbleUpon, I found this rejection denial note (rejection rejection letter?) on a humor site.

Herbert A. Millington
Chair – Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA 34109

Dear Professor Millington,

Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,
Chris L. Jensen

Wouldn't you love to try this? What's stopping you?

READ NEXT: Company Rejection Letters: A Hair-Pulling, Teeth-Gnashing Job Search Pet Peeve.

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About the Author Jacob Share

Job Search Expert, Professional Blogger, Creative Thinker, Community Builder with a sense of humor. I like to help people.

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  • Pete Aldin says:

    I used this with my class of longterm unemployed today. Broke the ice, made them laugh and gave them ideas.

    This is pure gold. Is it REAL?

  • Jacob Share says:

    Hey Pete, glad that you and your class had a good chuckle.

    Real? I don’t know, to be honest. Someone claimed here that it’s an adaptation of a letter in Neal Postman’s Amusing Ourselves to Death but Amazon’s Search Inside the Book can’t find the word “rejection”, so perhaps not.

    I bet someone has used it for themselves in real life, it’s hard to resist 🙂

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  • Moshe says:

    There is only one problem with this:
    In ISRAEL, and in today’s age of technology, most potential employers do not even bother with rejection letters and if you get accepted they call you.
    but I loved it !
    thanks for the laugh !

  • normae says:

    …good sense! somehow, sometimes we revise it. lol..makes me laugh..

  • Izabella Tabarovsky says:

    I loved it… thanks for the good laugh and a new way of looking at rejection. I’m a career coach and I deal with so many clients who have all kinds of fears around rejection. Wouldn’t it feel empowering to send someone a letter like that – or at least to pretend you did?

  • Jacob Share says:

    Hi Izabella, I wish I’d thought of doing just that on my last job search when I was really annoyed with a company. It’s a great way to blow off steam and frankly, I don’t see much danger in it. You’ll probably make them laugh as well.

    I just subscribed to your blog. Good stuff there 🙂

  • bar jobs says:

    I have got to try that!!! but Moshe is right, who bothers to send out rejection letters anymore? The only place I know is in Germany, and not always.

    ~dave

  • Jacob Share says:

    Dave, it’s true, very few companies bother. And when they do, it often comes much later, too late to matter:

    A Hair-Pulling, Teeth-Gnashing Job Search Pet Peeve

    As if it would help reduce the feeling of rejection anyway.

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    The Funniest Rejection Letter Ever. Just plain hilarious. – http://bit.ly/ggfib

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  • Aidan says:

    LOL..this is so cool. I wondered if those employers share the same humor though…

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  • Kate says:

    I would love to see more people do this and talk about it.

  • Swish lady says:

    http://www.snopes.com/college/admin/rejection.asp
    I looked this up as I noticed right at the salutation that while the state is MA, no zip code here begins with “34”–and that zip is the same as my in-laws in Collier County, FL. It’s also hard to find “Whitson Univ.”.
    The story behind the letter’s origins on Snopes is a good one!

  • Don Park says:

    This is hardly new – I saw this ‘candidate rejection letter’ at least 1000 times over the last 20 years.

    It was kinda funny back then – now it’s just stupid.

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