Thanks to the magic of StumbleUpon, I found this rejection denial note (rejection rejection letter?) on a humor site:
Dear Professor Millington,
Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your department.
This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.
Despite Whitson’s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then.
Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.
Chris L. Jensen
Wouldn’t you love to try this? What’s stopping you?
If you enjoyed this, you’ll like Company Rejection Letters: A Hair-Pulling, Teeth-Gnashing Job Search Pet Peeve.
More funny articles from that humor archive:
- Knowledge, Power, Time, Work and Money Equations
- Automated Psychiatric Hotline
- Bumper Stickers
-- Jacob Share