Thanks to the magic of StumbleUpon, I found this rejection denial note (rejection rejection letter?) on a humor site:
Herbert A. Millington
Chair – Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA 34109Dear Professor Millington,
Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your department.
This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.
Despite Whitson’s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then.
Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.
Sincerely,
Chris L. Jensen
Wouldn’t you love to try this? What’s stopping you?
If you enjoyed this, you’ll like Company Rejection Letters: A Hair-Pulling, Teeth-Gnashing Job Search Pet Peeve.
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--Jacob Share
28 great comments. Join in!
Tags: rejection, rejection-letter, work-values, writing
Filed under: Laugh Out Loud Funny
Jacob Share is the founder and SVP of 
I used this with my class of longterm unemployed today. Broke the ice, made them laugh and gave them ideas.
This is pure gold. Is it REAL?
Comment by Pete Aldin
— June 27, 2007 #
Hey Pete, glad that you and your class had a good chuckle.
Real? I don’t know, to be honest. Someone claimed here that it’s an adaptation of a letter in Neal Postman’s Amusing Ourselves to Death but Amazon’s Search Inside the Book can’t find the word “rejection”, so perhaps not.
I bet someone has used it for themselves in real life, it’s hard to resist :)
Comment by Jacob Share
— July 1, 2007 #
[...] 884 Views – The Funniest Rejection Letter Ever [...]
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— July 1, 2007 #
[...] The Funniest Rejection Letter Ever [...]
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— July 12, 2007 #
There is only one problem with this:
In ISRAEL, and in today’s age of technology, most potential employers do not even bother with rejection letters and if you get accepted they call you.
but I loved it !
thanks for the laugh !
Comment by Moshe
Twitter: @israpay — February 4, 2008 #
…good sense! somehow, sometimes we revise it. lol..makes me laugh..
Comment by normae
— April 6, 2008 #
I loved it… thanks for the good laugh and a new way of looking at rejection. I’m a career coach and I deal with so many clients who have all kinds of fears around rejection. Wouldn’t it feel empowering to send someone a letter like that – or at least to pretend you did?
Comment by Izabella Tabarovsky
— May 1, 2008 #
Hi Izabella, I wish I’d thought of doing just that on my last job search when I was really annoyed with a company. It’s a great way to blow off steam and frankly, I don’t see much danger in it. You’ll probably make them laugh as well.
I just subscribed to your blog. Good stuff there :)
Comment by Jacob Share
— May 1, 2008 #
I have got to try that!!! but Moshe is right, who bothers to send out rejection letters anymore? The only place I know is in Germany, and not always.
~dave
Comment by bar jobs
— May 1, 2008 #
Dave, it’s true, very few companies bother. And when they do, it often comes much later, too late to matter:
A Hair-Pulling, Teeth-Gnashing Job Search Pet Peeve
As if it would help reduce the feeling of rejection anyway.
Comment by Jacob Share
— May 2, 2008 #
[...] If you liked this article, you’ll love The Funniest Rejection Letter Ever. [...]
Pingback by Company Rejection Letters: A Hair-Pulling, Teeth-Gnashing Job Search Pet Peeve | JobMob
— November 10, 2008 #
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— March 19, 2010 #
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— March 21, 2010 #
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— March 21, 2010 #
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— March 22, 2010 #
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— March 29, 2010 #
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— April 5, 2010 #
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— April 9, 2010 #
The Funniest Rejection Letter Ever. Just plain hilarious. – http://bit.ly/ggfib
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— June 30, 2010 #
The Funniest Rejection Letter Ever. Just plain hilarious. – http://bit.ly/ggfib (via @jancavan ) //funniest
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— June 30, 2010 #
LOL..this is so cool. I wondered if those employers share the same humor though…
Comment by Aidan
Twitter: @inspiremonkey — June 30, 2010 #
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— July 1, 2010 #
Ha ha! My vague Twitter theme today has lead me to this: http://jobmob.co.il/blog/funniest-rejection-letter-ever/
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— August 6, 2010 #
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— November 28, 2010 #
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— January 10, 2011 #